Ask Hospice if they have grief counseling you can take advantage of. You have been grieving for the last 6 months. But you seem to be having a problem with excepting the inevitable.
People are put on Hospice because they are terminal expected to pass within 6 months. Things can happen overnight. The Nurse is trying to tell you the end is coming. Its going to be hard but you have to except it for Moms sake. You need to be able to tell her its OK to go. Of course your anxious. No one wants to lose a LO. Try to look at it as Mom will no longer be in pain.
That’s probably a good idea that i get some grief counseling. There’s never been a day i have not seen my momma unless i was Out of town a few days. Even then multiple calls a day. I feel like Im losing my mind. Literally. I lost My daddy almost 5 years ago to cancer. Now my momma. I have Great parents both are great have been great parents! I’m 54 years old and i cannot Seem to accept she’s dying. Of course being in the house with her day n and day out since July has been hard!!! She was diagnosed June 7 2020 with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and I’ve watched my momma give the biggest fight of her life since then. Especially these past few weeks. Nurse came by earlier. Her vitals had stabled. Her BP drops immensely then back to normal. I’m on edge. I’m mad. I’m scared. I do Not want her to suffer but i do Not want to let her go. The nurse suggested a liquid med called haldol today in the hospice emergency kit to help settle down her aggitation and anxiety. But they have been doing Xanax for anxiety. I feel like all of these meds combined are snowing her. Yes, she’s resting better now, sleeping good. But is this how it will be till she takes her last breath is what i ask Myself. Her nurse has been AMAZING. And God knows she’s sure been comforting to me. I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m praying and i know That’s all i can Do. My mind knows what’s gonna happen very soon… but my heart just is having a hard time excepting.
lastly, joining this group the past couple days and just talking to others has given me soMe comfort. It’s talks that i need To have, but can’t have with my brothers because they are having a hard time with this too. But i feel I’m having a harder time, you see, i feel I have To be strong for them. But who will be strong for me? thank you for your kind words. God bless you
I don't have any great answers for you, just a "virtual" hug. It's frightening so take it a minute at a time right now. Call the hospice nurse and advise about the latest developments. If you can't do this alone, ask if they can send an aide or if you mom qualifies for in-patient hospice care. Good luck; you'll see her through.
Thank you for the virtual hug oh i sure Needed it. My heart is shattered in a million pieces. She’s my momma hit she’s also my best friend. She’s my travel partner and she’s been my roommate since daddy passed away. So to even imagine a day without her is so frightening
I agree that we need to know if her cancer is interfering with her inability to get out of bed. What kind of cancer is it, and where? Is it affecting her ability to stand and move around? Has it metastasized to her spinal cord and is it affecting her ability to stand?
What do her hospice nurse and doctor say about the situation, and/or possible coping methods?
Depending on her situation, and specifically whether she's able to stand if she can get out of bed, there might be a couple of options, but I don't know if they would be made available given the fact that she's in hospice.
One is a device like an upside-down horse shoe with extended side arms and a piece that fits underneath a mattress. Someone holds onto it and pushes up to get up. It doesn't provide stability for both sides of the body though. And the patient's legs needs to strong enough for standing.
The other is a trapeze; my father had one during one of his hospital stays, I think for one of his hip fractures. It's attached to the ceiling with a pull down rope with a handle, or something similar. The patient reaches up, pulls it down, and holds onto it while getting out of bed. But there also needs to be a walker or wheelchair immediately available, depending on the individual's ability to stand.
Yes, im certain the cancer is interfering. I guess I was asking if anyone had experienced last days of life with a loved one. I am Probably not making much sense. I’m new to this forum a d just looking for some support i guess
Are you saying she's been on hospice for 6 months? And now having trouble getting out of bed? From cancer?
If this is so, yes, this is scary. I'm not sure what your questions are. But if on cancer hospice for 6 months, I do not find it to be terribly surprising that she is declining to this.
I would just make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Let the morphine flow. If she needs to be in bed to safe and comfortable, then so be it. I would not fight it. I would think that there is little hope of her recovering so find ways to keep your sanity and deal with this loss.
Yes. She’s been on in home hospice now for almost 6 months. Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. I have Been home with her now day in and day out since July 30th. Seems the past two weeks have gotton worse. Nurse says vitals are holding steady considering but tells me to keep close eye on them and calm her if i need Too. She’s been great about helping and coming when needed. The nurse talked to us about a month ago said she’s progressing quickly- and recommended if i could- to take a leave of absence to be home with her in her final days. Things just become more scarey daily. I keep Her as comfortable as i can And administer the meds as nurse says. She’s in bed more than she’s up but when she is up she moves around OK with my help. This morning for the first time she started talking about precious loved ones who had passed and my daddy and about her childhood. That’s what set a red flag for me. Now, she did need assistance getting up this morning and was harder for her to walk than normally been being but her reminiscing is what scared me. Her BP was 92/52 this morning but had gotton back to normal by time the nurse arrived. I’m just a basket case, to be honest. I know Her time is very near and my heart races with anxiety and fear of knowing i will Lose her
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
People are put on Hospice because they are terminal expected to pass within 6 months. Things can happen overnight. The Nurse is trying to tell you the end is coming. Its going to be hard but you have to except it for Moms sake. You need to be able to tell her its OK to go. Of course your anxious. No one wants to lose a LO. Try to look at it as Mom will no longer be in pain.
like Im
losing my mind. Literally. I lost My daddy almost 5 years ago to cancer. Now my
momma. I have Great parents both are great have been great parents! I’m 54 years old and i cannot Seem to accept she’s dying. Of course being in the house with her day n and day out since July has been hard!!! She was diagnosed June 7 2020 with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and I’ve watched my momma give the biggest fight of her life since then. Especially these past few weeks. Nurse came by earlier. Her vitals had stabled. Her BP drops immensely then back to normal. I’m on edge. I’m mad. I’m scared. I do Not want her to suffer but i do Not want to let her go. The nurse suggested a liquid med called haldol today in the hospice emergency kit to help settle down her aggitation and anxiety. But they have been doing Xanax for anxiety. I feel like all of these meds combined are snowing her. Yes, she’s resting better now, sleeping good. But is this how it will be till she takes her last breath is what i ask Myself. Her nurse has been AMAZING. And God knows she’s sure been comforting to me. I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m praying and i know That’s all i can Do. My mind knows what’s gonna happen very soon…
but my heart just is having a hard time excepting.
lastly, joining this group the past couple days and just talking to others has given me soMe comfort. It’s talks that i need To have, but can’t have with my brothers because they are having a hard time with this too. But i feel I’m having a harder time, you see, i feel I have To be strong for them. But who will be strong for me?
thank you for your kind words. God bless you
oh i sure Needed it. My heart is shattered in a million pieces. She’s my
momma hit she’s also my best friend. She’s my travel partner and she’s been my roommate since daddy passed away. So to even imagine a day without her is so frightening
ADVERTISEMENT
What do her hospice nurse and doctor say about the situation, and/or possible coping methods?
Depending on her situation, and specifically whether she's able to stand if she can get out of bed, there might be a couple of options, but I don't know if they would be made available given the fact that she's in hospice.
One is a device like an upside-down horse shoe with extended side arms and a piece that fits underneath a mattress. Someone holds onto it and pushes up to get up. It doesn't provide stability for both sides of the body though. And the patient's legs needs to strong enough for standing.
The other is a trapeze; my father had one during one of his hospital stays, I think for one of his hip fractures. It's attached to the ceiling with a pull down rope with a handle, or something similar. The patient reaches up, pulls it down, and holds onto it while getting out of bed. But there also needs to be a walker or wheelchair immediately available, depending on the individual's ability to stand.
certain the cancer is interfering. I guess I was asking if anyone had experienced last days of life with a loved one. I am Probably not making much sense. I’m new to this forum a d just looking for some support i guess
If this is so, yes, this is scary. I'm not sure what your questions are. But if on cancer hospice for 6 months, I do not find it to be terribly surprising that she is declining to this.
I would just make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Let the morphine flow. If she needs to be in bed to safe and comfortable, then so be it. I would not fight it. I would think that there is little hope of her recovering so find ways to keep your sanity and deal with this loss.
So sorry that this is your current situation.