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Blondie13 Asked April 2021

Can daughters who neglected mother for years come put her in a center and not disclose location to close friends? She had 24 hour at home.

Daughters neglected her and friends and myself took care of her. They refused to get caregivers for years then finally did so she had 24 hr coverage at home and was happy. Had dog of 10 years They are both POA selling house and all personal items within 3 weeks

Midkid58 Apr 2021
Did they not tell YOU where she is? That's sad and kind of shady.

Were you aware of this happening, or did she sort of 'disappear' one day and the sisters won't tell you where she is?

At 97, perhaps she really is not cognizant of these things. Take a step back and think whether or not this move was sneaky or family doing what needed doing?

My YB believes he can care for mother NO.MATTER.WHAT. What he doesn't know, is that if mother falls much more and breaks a hip, she will be placed in a NH for the rest of her life. YB won't allow any outside help--he even balks at family coming in. Even tho he is POA, if the rest of the sibs find him to be misusing his 'power' we can override his decisions. Maybe that happened here?

If you feel strongly that a wrong was committed, do call the Office of Aging. They'll investigate (one hopes!) and decide what to do. However--if her home is sold before a report can be made--I don't know what your options would be.

Honestly, selling the house is probably necessary to find funds for her care.

ravensdottir Apr 2021
POA doesn't mean carte blanche. If your friend was mentally competent, that should supercede the POA.

If that is a concern, contact Adult Protective Services under your local Office/Dept. of Aging to report suspected abuse of or fraud against a senior. Just talking with someone there can take some weight off of your mind.

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AlvaDeer Apr 2021
Yes, if she has dementia they can do this, and sell the home to provide for her care in facility. They are the family. Friends quite honestly don't have a say in this if there is dementia involved. In home coverage of care is extraordinarily expensive and cannot be sustained unless there is some wealth involved.

JoAnn29 Apr 2021
97 with Dementia it was time to place her if they didn't want to care for her. And bless you for doing what you could for her sobshe could stay in her home. The house is probably being sold for her care as are the personal items.

Not telling you were she is does not seem right. Hopefully you can contact one of them. Just say u would love to send her a card. Be able to visit when the center allows. Just want her to know her friends haven't abandoned her.

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