Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
N
nymima Asked March 2021

Mother with IBC - tumors are fungating. How long can this be managed at home?

My 95 yr old mother has Inflammatory Breast Cancer for about a year that we know of. She is on hospice for 22 months for chf. She is not treating for either one. Her tumors are now leaking and require gauze on them at this point. It will probably require a more aggressive approach to wrapping the breast in the near future. Can someone tell me what happens now? I cannot be the one to wrap her breast because I am treating for cancer and my immune system is compromised. So hospice will come and do the wrapping when needed. How long can this be managed with her at home? Remarkably, she is still managing around her home and doesn’t need constant care. She does manage her simple meals - either by making a sandwich, soup or heating a prepared dinner in the microwave. She doesn’t cook. She sleeps a lot, sits in her recliner, watches tv, can still shower on her own. She gets around with the use if a walker. Does anyone have any experience with this stage of breast cancer? I just don’t know what to expect from here on. I do worry about sepsis.

nymima Mar 2021
Hi “Need Help” - Hospice will transport my mother to our hospice facility when she needs to go. She’s not ready yet as she is still managing on her own in many aspects. They want her to have the cna more days than what she has now, but she is turning them down. She likes her privacy. She will try to maintain for as long as she can. This is the way she is. I’m not sure how long she can persist. But we’ll know when it’s time. Thank you for your concern. This is a difficult time for many caregivers. We get in over our heads sometimes. What a roller coaster ride of emotions. Hugs.

Isthisrealyreal Mar 2021
If she is managing, let her stay at home.

A hospice facility is not going to let her putter around and do what she can. She will be cooped up in a room waiting to die. No way.

Let her die the way she wants.

My sister had the same thing and she was in hospice at home until she died. Taking care of the leaking is not a big deal, especially since hospice is willing to deal with it.

ADVERTISEMENT


AlvaDeer Mar 2021
Nymima, It is sounding as though the situation is exactly where it was when you last wrote us about all of this. I would not worry about the sepsis, because in all truth it is a quick death in hospice. It is the way my brother died. Until then this is the same slow torment you have been telling us about in your posts. It sounds very unchanged. I hope that Hospice has words for you that might help. This won't change until your poor Mom is at peace.
nymima Mar 2021
She’s been on antibiotics for 2 days because the nurse felt she was fighting some sort of infection. So now my mother thinks that the “leaking” that is happening is because the antibiotics are releasing the toxins from her breast. Is this possible? This is making me nuts. My mother has an explanation for everything. Is she right about this?
nymima Mar 2021
She wishes to remain in her home as long as possible. She told me she would go to the hospice facility when she can no longer manage at home. I think she would be better in the hospice facility now, but one has to have 6 months or less in order to go there. I just don’t know how to measure this because she is still managing. She is the great deceiver however because she doesn’t want to leave her home. She’s been leaking from her tumors for a few days now and hasn’t told anyone. The nurse requested to check her breast today and this is why she knows my mother has not been forth-coming in telling anyone about it. I was with her a lot this weekend, but of course she never told me anything. I would feel relieved for her to go to our beautiful facility, but I don’t think my mother feels that way. I never push her. But I will have to guess when she is not up to things anymore. I always have to read between the lines with her.
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2021
Wow, this is heartbreaking for you and your mom. I’m so sorry.

Wishing you peace during this difficult situation.
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2021
I can’t imagine how your mom “can manage” on her own at her age and in her declining health.

Why isn’t she in a facility where she would receive round the clock care?

Does she wish to remain at home? Is that why she isn’t in a facility?

You mention hospice. Do you have an option of her going to an ‘end of life’ hospice facility?

They are wonderful at keeping a resident comfortable.

Is she able to receive meals on wheels? Please take advantage of anything that would make your mom’s life easier for her.
nymima Mar 2021
She gets meals on wheels. She is quite remarkable in that she can still manage around her home. Very strong willed lady. She said she would go to the hospice care facility if she can’t manage anymore at home. But I know she wants to remain in her home. If I don’t have to get involved with too much of her care, then I will make sure she can stay at home. But I’m treating for cancer at this time and I cannot do that much for her should her situation change. And hospice won’t be there round the clock. She will have to go to the facility - like she agreed she would do. She knows I can’t do it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter