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rcvela001 Asked September 2020

What is the best reverse mortgage for elderly disabled people?

My dad is going to need around the clock care when he gets out of rehab. (could be in the next few days - I have talked to him 3 times about making these arrangements and he has done nothing) Here I am at the last minute trying to arrange care for him. So far the only thing I can get out of him is he wants to go back to his house. His house is paid for. I think a reverse mortgage may be the only way he can pay for his care and remain in his home. There are a lot of reverse mortgage advertisements out there.


What have been your experiences with reverse mortgages?


Thanks!

pamzimmrrt Sep 2020
I am really tired of the Tom Selleck commercials,, mom and I see them all day long on her channels.. as if he needs one! look into this carefully as they can backfire on you!
Daughterof1930 Sep 2020
I’ve lost a lot of respect for Selleck since he began these ads
Countrymouse Sep 2020
Your father is 68. I see from your profile that he has a world of health issues, but he's 68. He could live for decades.

What happens when the money runs out? Then he will have no house, no home, and no capital to pay for care.

As a recent amputee with - to pick two - diabetes and dementia, it would be surprising if he were in any fit state to make major long-term decisions. In your place, my first step would be to consult the discharge planner at rehab. Does your father have any other savings, capital, investments? What's his income? - the reason I ask is that his level of care may reduce in the short to medium term, and it may be that for a limited length of time there are other ways to find the money.

There are precious few circumstances in which reverse mortgages are the right choice; and I don't think this is among them. Certainly do not arrange one for him without first-rate advice from a reputable elder care planning specialist.
AlvaDeer Sep 2020
As Countrymouse says, be very careful. Often when the elder has to leave the home because no amount of home health will make it OK, the reverse mortgage is DUE. Then there is a real pickle. Sale of the home to pay the reverse mortgage may leave little left, but that little may be enough to forbid his getting any medicaid help. In general I agree with Countrymouse that these are a bad idea, a last resort. As I said, worked well for my husband's Mom, but I hear otherwise very few good stories.

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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 2020
Reverse mortgages look to me to operate about the same as a casino. The house always wins in the end.

These marketing techniques are used as bait directed toward vulnerable seniors who wish to believe that a reverse mortgage will solve all of their problems. It’s sad.

At least at a casino there is a slim chance of winning. That is if the person gets up and walks out of the door with money in hand. Habitual players will end up putting all their winnings back in the machine. It’s a mind game. Don’t fall for it. It’s entertainment. Gambling isn’t a guaranteed source of income, even for professional gamblers. Reverse mortgages are the same. It’s risky. They are looking for desperate people to bite the bait. Don’t be tempted by these commercials for a reverse mortgage. Look for alternative solutions for help.

Naturally mortgage lenders are in it for a profit. They are going to make money off of their customers or else why would they be in business.

Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
I don't recommend any reverse mortgages. They don't really benefit anyone but the lender.

Call and get a couple of different contracts and read them, using a dictionary to look up every word and be sure and look up what that word means in the lending world.

If your dad needs long term care, he may need to sell his house and use the money to pay for a facility. Just because he doesn't want to not be home doesn't mean that you need to jump through flaming hoops to accommodate him. He needs to participate in decisions or he isn't able and that means he doesn't get a say.

glendj Sep 2020
My parents had a reverse mortgage, they got it when they first came out. It happened to work well for them, however you are still responsible for paying for any repairs the home may need while living in it. You are responsible for keeping insurance on the home and once a year when you receive your insurance coverage statement you must supply a copy of it proving it is insured. If you don’t they will insure it and take it out of the mortgage money. You also are responsible for paying the personal property taxes on the home. They can be good things as long as you plan for the above expenses. As to whether it will be enough for home healthcare is another matter. I lived with my father to take care of him after my mother died, I did end up having to hire a healthcare worker to come in to give me a break 3 days a week, it cut into the budget significantly but was well worth it for saving my sanity.

AlvaDeer Sep 2020
I don't agree with RealyReal this reverse mortgages are always a bad idea. There are circumstances when they are a good idea. But I do agree that you need expert guidance, Elder Law Attorney or Fiduciary to explain when it is a good idea and when not. Often the monthly income and assets for draw down from a reverse mortgage can prevent your getting medicaid as needed. A home as asset need not be sacrificed for getting medicaid (tho recovery will occur after death).
For my MIL her reverse mortgage was a godsend. She had a valuable and fully paid for home, and had only social security. She was determined to stay home and had no funds to pay for the care she needed. The reverse mortgage on her home allowed her to hire care and remain home until her death. Then her son, my partner, sold the home, paid off the reverse mortgage, and as her heir recovered the remainder asset in the home.
As I said don't move on this by what the reverse mortgage company says; and some of them are little better than crooks. You need someone who understands whether this is a good idea for this senior or not. We have had people on forum whose elders were convinced they got to meet the actor in the most common commercial out there if they got one. We have had seniors who had the bad idea to take one to pay for long term care insurance (yet another thing you shouldn't get without knowing all the ins and outs of the contracts.
Good luck. Get expert guidance on this. So many things go beyond the pay grade of those of us giving out advice on the forum. Hope you will update us on how you move forward.
Countrymouse Sep 2020
Compared to what I have heard said (and thought myself) about them, "crooks" is a glowing tribute!
Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
rcv, you will need to do research in your area. Assisted living is so wide ranging that it is hard to say.

My dad had several people that smoked where he was, they had outdoor areas set up to accommodate them. My dad had a little dog that they helped with. Another guy wanted to have coffee and walks all the time and they did their best to keep him going. Other places refused the dog and no smoking areas. I had to look at many places before I found one that he could afford and seemed to offer the best fit.

Make a list of what is really important for your dad and ask lots of questions. When you narrow it down make the facility put things in writing to ensure you are not surprised. I would also ask if they have others that have these hobbies.

Get a needs assessment from rehab. This will help you find the right place.

HilaryHilary Sep 2020
The effect of compound interest is something people forget to factor into RMs. When the money gained from the reverse mortgage runs out, what will he do then? He could live for another 25 years and the money drawn down won't last that long. If he has no money, he may be able to get help at home for free now while still retaining ownership of the house (with a lien on it for when he dies) which at least provides security if he remains in the house and provides money for later if/when he needs AL. Explore all alternatives very carefully. A RM is a Get-A-Little-Now but Pay-All later situation. Once the house is gone, it's gone. As years go by and people realise the real cost of compound interest, sadly many will regret "giving away" their principal capital asset.

UnexpectedMIL Sep 2020
eegh!!!! The home will be lost!!!!!
If someone in the family can do this, it’s an painless way to save some money.
What we did was draw up a contract with a lawyer agreeing to give a monthly amount (with 1% interest).
When your Dad passes, you’ll have preserved the value of house, as well. When house sells, that debt, your accumulated amount, will be repaid at the time of sale. Make sure it’s a legal document.

Bridger46146 Sep 2020
They’re a huge gamble and most of them end up in foreclosure once the elder has been out of the house for a year. The companies almost always short sale them and you end up still owing money and have no house. BEWARE.
gdaughter Sep 2020
Just give Tom Selleck a call and he'll take care of it, right? LOL
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