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Laurabelle01 Asked May 2020

Mom in hospital- systems shutting down. Not eating or drinking. I have her on glucose drop and oxygen only. Any advice?

Doctor said she may last days to a week or so even with the glucose. Too fragile to transport home - touching moving her causes pan. She is getting morphine and haldol if needed. She does not want extra ordinary means - no vent, no feeding tube, etc. My brother is angry I choose to keep her on glucose and oxygen for now. Says it is prolonging inevitable and is unnecessary. I think removing it is removing hydration and basic sugar. She came in for autoimmune hepatitis and ascites, blood sugar crashed. I think keeping her this way until she passes IS what she wanted. Removing it and oxygen seems horrible - inhumane, Brother says he no longer coming to hospital because of my choice. Please help, I have been her caregiver for 5 years.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


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MammaDrama May 2020
Based on my experience with my father, I would say stop the fluids. If she is dying there is no need to prolong it. The oxygen helps with comfort as does the morphine.

Laurabelle01 May 2020
Thank you everyone for your responses and kindness. Mom is not in formal "hospice" because of stupid Medicare "in-patient" payment guidelines. I don't want to move her, so so far they said she can stay if I pay ( all about that isn't it).
The nurses are following my wishes on care and being wonderful ( so that is a blessing for however long it lasts). I found her PA Advanced directives paperwork and am doing exactly what it outlined - so I am at peace with my decision. If things change, I will adjust as best I can according to the "spirit" of her wishes. It is in God's hands. If my brother can't understand, that s not my problem quite frankly. I wrote him and told him I would let him know when Mom is actively dying so he can choose to come if he wants. I have to live with me decisions as Mom's daughter, caregiver, and POA. Pray for a peaceful transition for her and strength for me. Love-

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golden23 May 2020
(((((hugs))))) this is so hard and especially with a disagreeing sib. Mother stopped eating and drinking. They put her on an iv for hydration - not sure if there was glucose in it, oxygen ad morphine. Perhaps your mother has glucose b/c her blood sugar crashed. Mother passed peacefully in a couple of days.

I agree hospice knows and I suspect her doctor does too. My vote is to leave things as they are unless hospice has a different position. Brother is grieving. It's not your fault.

Midkid58 May 2020
My dad was in Hospice over Christmas. Though his 'wishes' were for no feeding tubes, no oxygen and no IV's, we did run ONE IV so he would not die on Christmas Day.

He shut down slowly, and peacefully. Died 45 minutes into the New Year.

Up to you, but giving him Iv's and oxygen does indeed prolong his life, not by much, and if he is not in pain, physical or emotional, then continue with what you feel is best for him.

If your brother wants to disagree with you, and he has no voice in this decision, just let that go. The person he's hurting is himself and setting himself up for regrets of not being there to be with his dad.

Daughterof1930 May 2020
Consider giving her only water for minimal hydration. When my mother was close to death her doctors informed us that dehydration was a painful way to go, but that the body had no need for nutrition. Glucose is a form of feeding. I’m glad you’re allowing pain meds, be sure they’re used as much as allowable. I wish you and your mother both peace

AnnReid May 2020
Standing beside you in spirit. I trusted my mom’s hospice team, and I have no regrets. That’s why they’re there.

Your brother may come around and may not, but you may find that if you let hospice do what they feel is best, he’ll be more able to understand what you and they have done for her.

cwillie May 2020
I don't know about the IV but my instinct would be to ask that it be discontinued. As for the oxygen - my mom died from aspiration pneumonia and when I questioned continuing the oxygen when it became clear she had no chance of recovery the nurses felt that it eased her discomfort and would not prolong her life. ((hugs))

BarbBrooklyn May 2020
Is she on Hospice? I would trust what hospice says in this situation.

At the end of life, there may be thirst which can be handled with swabs. Hydrating with glucose via IV and oxygen through a mask or cannula sounds annoying and painful if she is so sensitive to touch.

Please get in touch with a Hospice organization and ask these hard questions.

((((Hugs)))))

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