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Chergal Asked October 2019

When the dementia worsens... Is this a sign of a significant change?

I know dementia is a progressive disease. I have seen my dad get worse over the 3 years that he has been in a nursing home. So far, he knows who I am and will introduce me as his daughter. But he thinks my mom is the same person as his mom. I don't understand how he can know I am his daughter but think that we have the same mom. He has gotten more restless lately. Is this a sign of a significant change?

lealonnie1 Oct 2019
My mother has been introducing me as her mother for several years now. She knows I'm her daughter, yet she calls me her mother. She calls my husband either HER husband or her brother in law, so she's constantly confused about who's who.

The way I had it explained to me that I liked best was this way: with dementia, they go along at a certain pace for a while, then take a step down. The step down will show significant changes and a decline in cognizance, mobility, fine motor skills, etc. which will be noticeable. They will stay at that level for a while before taking ANOTHER step down, and so on.

Over the past 6 years, I've seen my 92 year old mother take several significant steps down with her dementia, the last one being after a stroke last October. I feel like she's on the cusp of yet another step down nowadays, too, since she's becoming more and more immobile every day, with more and more sleep disturbances as well.

Tough stuff, I know.
Chergal Oct 2019
lealonnie1, that sounds so familiar. My father has had mini strokes over the years. It is very hard to watch. But it is good to know I can talk to people on this site about it.
Chergal Oct 2019
thank you cwillie. I thought it was strange that dad knew me as a daughter but thought my mom and his mom are the same person. Now I know he is not the only one with this kind of disconnect.

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cwillie Oct 2019
I think it's natural to try to look for a logical progression so that we can understand where we are and what lies ahead, unfortunately all the scales that are available are really just very rough guidelines and every person's experience is different. My mom knew my name and that I was her daughter, on the other hand she couldn't tell me her own name and thought she had never been married or had any kids... two contradictory thoughts. I learned to not probe too deeply about what she knew, although it was fascinating it was also too painful.

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