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laurenmhagan Asked August 2018

How do I convince my siblings that now is the time for my dad to stop driving?

Sunnygirl1 Aug 2018
If dad's driving is unsafe, I'd get with the doctor and get him off the road pronto. Explaining to siblings would not be a priority.

My personal opinion is that if an adult child is unable or unwilling to get why an unsafe senior drive should be stopped, then, they may not be very open to reason or common sense. If they are that resistant, you might explain that if dad's unsafe driving hurts or kills someone, there may be lawsuit, even with insurance that results in taking parent's assets to satisfy judgment from the court. And, family members who allow parents to drive, knowing they are unsafe, could also be at risk.

Ahmijoy Aug 2018
Since your profile says you’re caring for your mother, I’m assuming your father has issues as well? Why do your siblings disagree? What has Dad done that has made you think he can no longer drive? And why do your sibs think he’s ok? Are they concerned they will be charged with being his transportation?

If Dad is confused, gets lost, forgets where he’s going or you suspect he’s had near misses, you shouldn’t need your siblings permission to tell Dad you think he can no longer drive. You can ask his doctor to send a letter to the BMV saying he/she feels Dad is no longer able to drive and they will no longer issue him a license. However, if Dad is mentally impaired he may think he doesn’t need a license and if the car and keys are available, he’ll go out anyway. You’ll have to take the car “to the shop” and it never comes back. Another poster here also made the excellent suggestion that if you take away Dad’s independence you need to arrange for other transport for him so he’s not stuck at home 24/7.

Explain to your sibs that quite often there are news stories about elders hitting the gas instead of the brake and plowing through storefronts. It happened in my city last fall. Or of driving the wrong way on the roads and causing serious accidents.

If you have have any doubts about Dad’s abilities, you should err on the side of caution.

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Daughterof1930 Aug 2018
Take dad to his doctor for the subject to be discussed. Let the driving news come from doctor not you. This helps both dad and siblings not be angry with you.

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