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portulaca Asked February 2018

My mom tells me that dad is coming home for dinner. He's been dead for 11 years. Is this typical of people with cognitive disorders?

She even tells me what she's ordered for him. My mother is currently in independent living soon to be moved to assisted living. Is this typical of people with cognitive disorders?

pamzimmrrt Feb 2018
My dad got his times of life all confused. He normally thought he and I were in school together, and was very surprised when I told him I was not even a twinkle in his eye when he was in school. He was always thinking his family was still alive, and frequently said mom was not his wife because she was too old (luckily she took this well) He knew I was his daughter and she was his wife most of the time,, but mixed the times up. It is very common... You just have to roll with it, hard as it is.

freqflyer Feb 2018
portulaca, yes this is typical.

My Dad was living in Independent Living and apparently had sundowning which he was able to hide from me. It wasn't until he moved into Memory Care that I would get telephone calls from him saying he was running late due to a meeting and had missed the bus. The last time my Dad had taken a bus to get to and from work was back in the 1940's.

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geewiz Feb 2018
YES it is typical. My Mom asked where my Dad was (he'd been dead for 31 years! I told her he was at a fraternal organization's (that he had been active in) committee meeting. Oh yes, she said now I remember. When she asked about her brothers, (OMG I can't remember how long they were gone) I told her they were playing soccer. Go with the flow of her "present". You can read quite a bit on this site about therapeutic fibbing and going along with the person's memory. Good luck, it will be an interesting journey.

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