If, as they tell me, my husband is doing well because he has 24/7 care, how long before he starts declining?

I too questioned my decision to place Dad in MC after I saw how well he did there. And the very wise director said the same thing JeanneGibbs said. That was enough for me, although I never stopped wondering if I could bring him home again. Then I was reminded that the staff there was more than one person, and each of them went home at the end of their shift. Even if I could find good, reliable help, 24/7 would have been too much for me to handle. I don't think anyone WANTS to place their loved one. I found, though, that since I wasn't taking care of all of his needs, I was able to visit with him every day and be a better daughter than when I was his caretaker.

SunnyGirl, thank you for your answer. My spouse of 55 yrs. was diagnosed 3 yrs. ago. I took him to an after hours clinic after he started hallucinating & they ordered an MRI that showed significant areas of his brain that wasn't getting blood flow. He had days where he was perfectly rational & days when he was imagining people from the train behind our house coming & sitting on his bed. I'm not trying to make light of things but some of the delusions/hallucinations were pretty funny, like the one where he was seeing flys wearing headlights. So, I guess I should be thankful that he is doing good right now & quit having the guilts. Someone, I think on this site, said that guilt is anger directed inward.

I don't think it's selfish to help place the LO somewhere where they can get the attention they need. That is a very kind and loving thing to do, imo.

I will say that my experience with Vascular Dementia with my LO has been all over the place. She was running her own household, then needed Assisted Living and then quickly needed Memory Care in a relatively short period of time. I have read that the progression is more in a stepped down fashion than gradual with VD, but, I think I have seen both with my LO. Some days are better than others, too. I learned to not expect anything.

I've read lots about what other people have seen with their loved ones as well as professional literature. I'd also seen how others have declined in the facility where my LO resides.

My LO's survived several roommates who have passed away, since she moved to MC. I was beginning to think that she may really continue on really well, but, alas, she has declined recently and now can barely sit up. She's leaning over a lot and is being evaluated for a special tilt chair. She's been wheelchair bound for almost 4 years, is double incontinent and now has limited speech. That is what I have read is the average life expectancy from diagnosis, but, I don't put much faith in that, since people are so different and she could live for years, even after she becomes bedbound.

When was your husband diagnosed?

Gee, what I decided to do is working. I wonder if it was the wrong decision. LOL. We caregivers can figure out how to worry about everything, whether it is going well or not.

Enjoy your husband's improved demeanor while it lasts. Better to be visiting him pleasantly in the NH than to be fighting with his aggression at home.

I think that perhaps you made the RIGHT decision. I know nothing about vascular Dementia, but the NH may have access to medications and machines that you don’t. He may worsen again, but for the moment it appears to be helping.