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HereNow Asked October 2017

My husband entered Memory Care and panics when I am not there. I spend 4 hours each day but he does not remember it. Any advice?

BarbBrooklyn Oct 2017
I second the idea of getting a geriatric psychiatrist involved in your husband's treatment. Dementia breaks the brain in ways that are mysterious sometimes, but overwhelming anxiety is often the result.

No amount of reassurance, not endless visitations, NOTHING helped my mom's anxiety. Only meds allowed her to be calm.

This wasn't chemical restraint. It was medical treatment of a medical condition.

Sunnygirl1 Oct 2017
Anxiety seems to be common with people who have dementia. My LO suffered it with quite a bit. She was helped with medication. I might discuss it with his doctor or even ask for a referral for a geriatric psychiatrist. Sometimes medication can help with anxiety and panic. Also, sometimes, it might take awhile for a person to adjust to their new environment. I might also discuss whether staying for 4 hours in the MC is helpful for him. My LO gets overloaded easily and after a certain time gets antsy, so, I know when she's had enough of a visit.

Since there's no way to make our LO recall the visit, I just try to focus on the moment and the comfort that I can provide just for that time. I do take photos and the next time I'm there to visit, show them to her and say look at us smiling. She used to enjoy that, but, lately, she doesn't know who she is in the photo, so, I'm not sure if I'll keep doing it.

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JoAnn29 Oct 2017
I know, its hard. The shortterm memory is the first to go. My Aunt used to tell her sister no one visited her and her sister believed her. Once, Mom and I had just been there. You really need to give him time to adjust. The staff should be trained to divert his attention.

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