My dad refuses to get his nails cut.

Dear Malini,

I think MsMadge has the best answer. I know its so hard. My dad was also very stubborn and wanted to do everything himself. Because he is diabetic it is critical his nails do not lead to infection.

If I understand correctly, your dad wouldn't let a podiatrist near him

My mom cusses the poor woman she's been going to for years claiming she's hurting her

She cusses me when I trim her fingernails

Part of the problem is dementia but the other part is she has very strong nails which I didn't inherit so maybe it does hurt

Try soaking in a little warm water and apple cider vinegar first to soften - who doesn't enjoy a foot bath

Otherwise you may have to try and cut his fingernails while he's asleep

If you can arrange for a podiatrist to come to the house then ask his doctor for a one dose of something to give him to calm him down beforehand

I take my grandmother to a podiatrist. He clips her toenails and checks her feet for sores. She has two ingrown toenails that have become infected at various points of time and one toenail that turns and grows into her foot if she misses an appointment. The doctor even went to visit her in rehab to ensure her toenails were kept clipped and short. I highly recommend that as I have always been told that healthy feet mean they can continue to walk. Unhealthy feet can even result in loss of your feet.

Get him to a podiatrist. Medicare will pay for visits for trimming nails. Some podiatrist will make house calls when elderly cannot get out. If he is in a facility many of them have a podiatrist that will visit any resident that requests it.