How can I approach Mom's bathing habits without saying the wrong things like, "you smell" or "you have a bad odor"?
I'm an only child, little to no help in the home and getting in home care is challenging because I can't allow her (my mom) to have the key to the house.
I agree with Evermore99. The gentleman I care for would use the excuses He hasn't done anything to smell bad. Finally when I said, Dude, is that you I smell? OOOOWEEE That is you!. He jumped right in that shower
Me being me would probably just come out and say "You reek, time for a shower." I have a low tolerance for things like that. My mother banned my grandmother from coming to our house unless she bathes. If she is going to stay for two to four days she must take showers in that time period. Mom used the excuse of other people's bad hygiene sets of hers and my asthma and it does.
"getting in home care is challenging because I can't allow her (my mom) to have the key to the house" I too am confused by this statement. Please don't tell me that means you have your mom locked in the house alone during the day.
I don't understand what you mean about her having a key to your house. Does she live with you?
If her dementia is increasing to the point that issues with bathing, not responsible enough to allow caretakers inside, etc., I'd evaluate just what the reality may be. I'd likely schedule some bath aids to come when you are there. Eventually, being tactful, may not be effective.
I found that planning something to do together was good and then just going into the bathroom, running water and handing my LO the soap lathered wash clothe to bath so that I could ensure she was doing it worked well. I'd chat about what a nice time we would have later on and how she had to bathe before we left. Of course, it's a personal thing, but, just asking or suggesting usually don't work. They often claim they bathed, when they didn't. They may think they did, but, they can't recall. I think most people find better success with bath aids, than trying to do themselves.
5 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
I too am confused by this statement. Please don't tell me that means you have your mom locked in the house alone during the day.
If her dementia is increasing to the point that issues with bathing, not responsible enough to allow caretakers inside, etc., I'd evaluate just what the reality may be. I'd likely schedule some bath aids to come when you are there. Eventually, being tactful, may not be effective.
I found that planning something to do together was good and then just going into the bathroom, running water and handing my LO the soap lathered wash clothe to bath so that I could ensure she was doing it worked well. I'd chat about what a nice time we would have later on and how she had to bathe before we left. Of course, it's a personal thing, but, just asking or suggesting usually don't work. They often claim they bathed, when they didn't. They may think they did, but, they can't recall. I think most people find better success with bath aids, than trying to do themselves.
What is your living arrangement? Do you live together?