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Kyrasean Asked November 2016

Can the same person be the POA and the MPOA?

Me and two siblings took my mom to have POA and MPOA papers drawn up since she was in early stages of dementia. It was suppose to be my brother, then my sister if he couldn't do it, and then another sibling if she couldn't do it. Come to find it that the papers weren't drawn up that way. The attorney named only my sister as POA and my brighter as MPOA. What we are hearing from the sister is that one person is not both. Attorney won't talk to anyone else because the sister is POA. Nown there is no one else named as backup POA and things appear suspicious. Why can't one person be both?

gladimhere Nov 2016
MDPOA would be nice if person providing care had that. I was caregiver, twisted sister was DPOA both MD and financial. But, often there are conflicts between MDPoa and Financial POA. I was able to act on MD when caring for mom, I was successor, and Twisted Sister was never available. I was paid a minimal amount by court order as mom had plenty of resources, but we had input from a geriatric care manager as to what was appropriate because of terribly dysfunctional family. And had I been POA I could not negotiate with myself.

My mom's POA's are setup so POA can pay herself what is reasonable and customary, so it is permitted if stipulated in the document. Whatever reasonable and customary means! Leaves much to intrepretation to say nothing of greed.

Kyrasean Nov 2016
My mom was living with a brother and one time with the poa sister. But you could tell she didnt want my mom there. And if no one know what is going on with her finances, who holds her accountable? Its been over 3 years since my dad died and my brother who should have been poa doesnt even know my mother's affairs.

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pamstegma Nov 2016
Well, ideally the POA is supposed to NOT reveal anything about the money, except to tell the MPOA what is affordable and what is not. Since you are living in her house, it is best you are not handling the finances and her money is kept separately.

Kyrasean Nov 2016
No one was getting paid. We actually had a third party sitting with her during day while the adults were working. We don't actually know why the attorney change it. Just what the sister (who is poa) is saying. Attorney won't respond to my email since I am not poa. I am trying to find out what happen. I was not going to be a Poa nor am i trying to be listed. Just trying to get it done like our parents wanted. And now my mom is too far gone with dementia. (Sorry didn't correct before)

Kyrasean Nov 2016
No one was getting paid. We actually had a third party sitting with her during day while the adults were working. We dont actually know why the attorney change it. Just what the sister (who is poa) is saying. Attorney wont respond to me emaail since i am not poa. I am trying to find out what happen. I am was not going to be a Poa not am i trying to be listed. Just trying to get it dine like our parents wanted. And now my mom is too far gone with dementia.

pamstegma Nov 2016
Kyrasean, are you being paid to care for your mother or do you live with her? In cases like that, you would have a conflict of interest being a POA and getting paid or getting free room & board. A POA can never draw any benefit from being a POA.

GardenArtist Nov 2016
You need to find out why the documents weren't drafted as your mother (or the adult siblings?) expected. Typically an attorney will have a private conversation with the person for whom documents are being drafted.

If your mother wanted the authorities to be granted changed to what the documents actually provide, that's her choice. If it wasn't, you shouldn't be paying for documents that didn't meet your mother's requirements.

If the attorney won't speak with you, and your mother is still cognizant to make her own decisions, start documenting, first with a letter to the attorney signed by your mother addressing the erroneous changes made.

Second, if the attorney fails to respond, and you can confirm with your mother and siblings that the documents do not reflect your mother's intent, contact the state bar association to file a grievance against the attorney.

However, who was with your mother when she signed? Did anyone read the documents before signing? This is a tactic some attorneys use, sometimes legitimate b/c the documents are complex and not everyone will understand, so attorneys will verbally or in writing summarize key points.

However, I once worked for an attorney who was so offended by a daughter who wanted to take the documents home for her and her mother to read that there was actually a blow-up and a lot of shouting and yelling right in the office. (He was a sole practitioner; this would NOT have happened in a law firm with other attorneys present.)

As to question of one proxy for both purposes, that's certainly possible. Ours are drafted that way, for good reason. My sister had the medical experience and I had the legal, but we had no problem pooling our knowledge to make the best decision for our father (until my sister died).

Personally, unless the siblings aren't getting along, I think joint proxies are more reasonable and practical.

cwillie Nov 2016
One person can act as both, in fact you will see many posts on this site recommending that because there are sometimes conflicts between what one sibling feels is medically necessary (such as more care) and the other is willing to pay for. It is also recommended that the person who is doing the caregiving have poa because they are the most aware of what is needed and they are the ones most effected by financial/medical decisions. And yes, it is normal to name more than one person, sometimes to act jointly/severally, sometimes as a successor if the first person can not fulfil their duties for any reason.
Attorney can't talk to you about it, but what does mom say, I expect she is the one who made this choice? It is unfortunate that the lawyer did not listen to the family's (reasonable) requests but instead pushed forward a different agenda, I have seen this happen before. On the one hand they need to be sure the Grantor is not being unduly influenced by the family, but that is no reason to disregard what has been asked for by the family. I know of one person who wanted every child named as poa so "no one would feel left out", the family finally convinced her that was ridiculous as one said no way and others didn't live near, but when the documents were ready to be signed guess what....

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