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sito2x Asked August 2016

If a person with dementia can still form his thoughts and carry on a conversation, is it appropriate to file for guardianship?

We go out to social functions, he enjoys seeing his acquaintances, carries on intelligent conversations, but his daughter is filling for guardianship. How can we fight this. Obviously, I have no direct rights, I am trying to advocate for him.

NYDaughterInLaw Oct 2016
Does your friend have a lot of money? If his daughter stops paying the bills for assisted living, he will be asked to move. I hear what the others are saying about guardians having to file annual reports but I know that the wheels of justice move like molasses. In the event the guardian does improper things with your friend's money, how can you help? Perhaps others have more information or personal experience with guardianship gone bad.

gladimhere Oct 2016
Sometimes guardianship is necessary if the elder has not properly planned by preparing POA's and other very important documents. There is no other option if elder refuses to assign someone. Would he be able to do this? Guardianship would be difficult to obtain if he is competent. It would not be necessary.

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pamstegma Oct 2016
sito2x, take some comfort in knowing that a guardian is supervised by the courts and submits annual reports. He still has the right to attend social functions. He will have 24/7 help there.

sito2x Oct 2016
Well,my friend hired an attorney. Unfortunately it was too late. Had he known his daughter was going to initiate guardianship from the beginning, MAYBE he would have had a chance. The attorney that was recommended by the guardian ad lidhim was not even an elder law attorney. I felt like she was just going along with everyone else. She never made any statements about anything. It's a done deal now. He is owned by his daughter fully. Thank you for our comments and suggestions. She took away his dignity from the moment he stepped into assisted living and now it's complete. So so sad. I did the best I could to help him.

Sunnygirl1 Aug 2016
If the court doesn't find a family member to be a good candidate to be appointed Guardian, they can appoint a professional guardian. Also, in most places, the Guardian has to obtain a Bond as security and if you can't be bonded, you can't serve as Guardian. And, there are annual accountings that have to be filed with the Court in most jurisdictions that provide documentation of all funds and how they are spent. It's for the protection of the Ward. An attorney should be able to explore all of that.

sito2x Aug 2016
My friend is a fall risk, living in an assistant living facility. Since he has Parkinson's Disease, he has problems with mobility, dressing himself etc. He does have mild dementia. There is no concern about spending or giving money away inappropriately. He has hired an attorney, but I don't get a good feeling about her. This daughter is a very controlling person, doesn't like her father AND we have just discovered her husband is being investigating for embezzling money from union funds. Hmmmm

Sunflo Aug 2016
Declaration of incompetency is EXTREMELY HARD. Most doctors, even primary care physician refuse to sign -- they want to leave that to a qualified psych evaluation for elders. The elder can refuse that psych eval unless the court decrees or the elder agrees, or daughter requests if her dad was admitted to hospital for example for a fall, stroke, illness. Then possibly able to get a declaration of incompetency.

From experience, it is almost impossible to get a decree of incompetency even if elder forgets to pay bills, doesn't understand bank transactions, personal hygiene neglect, etc. If they have some lucency and refuse services or agreeing to DPOA without incompetency -- its a no go.

That said, your friend probably will be able to live independently. BUT PLEASE DON"T JUDGE DAUGHTER for wanting to file for guardianship. There may be a lot of issues you are not aware of. THe up and down rollercoaster we go thru worrying about our elder's safety and well-being; getting the police calls, neighbor calls, panics, elder likes you one day/hates you the next, won't accept help or assistance, -- that may be the reason she is seeking guardianship so that she can make best decisions for her dad and herself and family.

JessieBelle Aug 2016
Have to add that the court will not grant guardianship on a whim. Doctors have to deem the person incompetent to conduct their own affairs and proof has to be presented that a guardian is needed. Your friend can hire an attorney to represent him if he does not need a guardian. It is very expensive to combat these cases, so please try to advocate without too much bias.

JessieBelle Aug 2016
Children often file for guardianship when parents have lost their ability to handle money well or make major decisions regarding their lives. For example, a man may be very sociable and go on a trip to a gambling casino and give all his friends $1000 to play with because they have no money. Someone approaches him and say they need $10,000 and he gives it to him. He is like an ATM. Maybe he buys a house he doesn't need because he likes it. It is just a whim and he's lost the ability to make judgments. But this man can still make good conversation and carry on socially. He still drives well. If the world was a perfect place, then everyone would help to make sure the man wasn't exploited. But this type of personality attracts leeches. So the children file for guardianship or conservatorship to keep the man from spending himself broke.

Few people really want to be a guardian. It is a lot of work and a guardian is reports to the probate court. If someone has filed, there is most likely a very good reason.

Sunnygirl1 Aug 2016
I would seek legal advice from an attorney to see how those types of proceedings are handled in your jurisdiction. Law vary by state. I'd inquire as to what evidence is required. Often the court considers if the person is able to handle their own affairs, run their household, make appropriate health care decisions, protect themselves from financial exploitation, etc. Only a licensed attorney would be allowed to represent someone in court.

As a friend, you may not be privy to certain deficiencies that could place him at risk. Sometimes, there is a need to step in. Sometimes, a person in need, doesn't realize they are in need of help. I don't know anything about your situation, but, I would keep an open mind.

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