There's a first time for everything. There's no history of dementia in your family...that you know of. Even if that were the case, it does not mean it isn't happening to your loved one. Unless you have video of the caregiver thieving, you have no proof and no recourse. You can always just ask the caregiver - "hey, did you take my glasses by mistake?" or "Do you know where all my eye glasses are?" You can also ask for another caregiver but if this keeps happening I suggest you scour the house.
My Nana, wh came to live with us when I was about 11, started down the road of Alzheimers /dementia, and she began stealing little things from around the house, kiddie gum machine toys, bottle tops, rings, little things, and started wrapping them up in tissue, rubber bands, string, and then hiding them, in deep plases in her closet, and into luggage, and then the paranoia started in, accusations, arguments, it was awful! She alos cut into many pieces, very old family pictures, now gone forever. Finally one day when her prized 18k gold bracelet went missing, the big search began, finding all sorts of things 30 or more things, mostly junky stuff, and that is when the true diagnosis was confirmed. From that point forward, the steep and steady decline into the unknown, as Alzheimers was still a new and not ofyen used diagnosis, in the 1970's. Anything could be happening, my mentally capable husband loses things every day! Keys, his belt. I found my teapot in the pantry, but I think I did that one!
Craftgal, last week I was on my way to a party at the nh and I intended to take a stack of small calendars for bingo prizes. My daughter said they were on the breakfast counter last she had seen them. I know! I saw them there myself. I looked. She looked. We kept looking. Finally, just as time was running out and I'd have to leave I found them -- in my office. Sigh.
We both knew we'd seen the neat stack on the counter. And we had. It just happened to be two days ago they were there, and they had been moved since then. (There is no dementia in our house right now, either.)
I believe you saw those three pairs of glasses sitting right there. Of course you did. But maybe, possibly, it was yesterday right before the caregiver left. Or last night. Our memories can play tricks on us.
The fact that the glasses would surely not be something risking one's job over makes me think a thorough search should be undertaken before you order replacements.
I am really sorry that you are in this frustrating spot.
Just clarifying - 3 pair of eye glasses were sitting out all together in one spot? What room - living room, bedroom? Who all was in the house during that 30 minute time frame? How long has this person been working for you? Is there anything special about these glasses like designer frames?
Craftgal, I need more information that I had failed to ask you earlier on.... like who is the person that need the Caregiver? What is that patient's age? What medical issues does she/he have?
One doesn't need dementia to lose things, even the most brilliant absent minded person can misplace.
Or maybe the Caregiver wears glasses and thought a pair were hers. Sometimes honest mistakes are made.
I am the one that posted the question about the glasses for everyone's info there's no dimenria in our family and second off 30 minutes prior to the time that the caregiver left they were sitting there but soon after the caregiver left i went to get them to go somewhere and they were all missing but being I never saw any one them I really have no recourse sad sad
I also agree that no one has any reason to steal someone else's prescription eyeglasses. Unless the caregiver had identical vision needs, they would be worthless to her. I doubt she could sell them on the street.
I suspect they've been misplaced.
There's a common phenomenon in older homes: little wee folk, faes/feys, fairies, elves or whatever, move things and hide them, causing elders to wonder what happened until suddenly something is discovered under a chair, stuffed in between cushions, or someplace where it never would have likely been put by a younger person.
When something goes missing in my house or my father's, I try to think: what are those fairies and elves up to now and where did they hide the checkbook?!
My Dad was always losing things in his recliner... items would slip between the arm rests and the seat cushion, eventually falling to the rug next to and behind the recliner.... we even finally found his car keys caught on the springs under the recliner.
As for prescription eyeglasses, those glasses aren't good for anyone else, so I bet they are under a sofa or in-between the cushions.
Oh, my Dad would accidentally throw out things or bump things into the trash, so the Caregivers knew to dig through the wastebaskets before putting the trash into a bin. It was the Caregivers that clue me in that Dad was throwing out current bills.
Okay, so ask yourself why someone would steal someone else's prescription eyeglasses. They are hidden somewhere. Not stolen. Very common dementia scenario.
Was this a single golden trinket that she could slip in her purse? I'm wondering how she managed this theft, too.
It is, of course, not impossible that a hired caregiver steals. Every other profession in the world has bad guys -- why wouldn't caregiving?
Does your loved one have dementia? Here is a not uncommon scenario in dementia: LO, to self: A lot of my things seem to disappear. People must be sneaking in here and taking my things! I'd better protect my things and hide them. (Places wrist watch in oatmeal box. Places reading glasses way in back of night stand drawer.) Later, LO to daughter: My watch is missing! Someone is coming in here and stealing my things! And they took my favorite reading glasses, too!
This self-fulfilling paranoia cycle is miserable for everyone. The watch may show up a few months later when someone makes oatmeal cookies. The glasses may not show up until the household furniture is sold or given away.
If your loved one does not have paranoia associated with dementia or some other illness, this hiding stuff to protect it and then forgetting it is hidden is less likely to apply in your case. But it is common and is worth considering, and possibly conducting a very thorough search in the house.
Also I ask because my grandma had a caregiver whom my mother suspected of stealing - turned out grandma was hiding stuff. My mother also told me a caregiver for my dad was stealing things - turned out my mom was loosing stuff. Could your situation be like either of these?
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We both knew we'd seen the neat stack on the counter. And we had. It just happened to be two days ago they were there, and they had been moved since then. (There is no dementia in our house right now, either.)
I believe you saw those three pairs of glasses sitting right there. Of course you did. But maybe, possibly, it was yesterday right before the caregiver left. Or last night. Our memories can play tricks on us.
The fact that the glasses would surely not be something risking one's job over makes me think a thorough search should be undertaken before you order replacements.
I am really sorry that you are in this frustrating spot.
One doesn't need dementia to lose things, even the most brilliant absent minded person can misplace.
Or maybe the Caregiver wears glasses and thought a pair were hers. Sometimes honest mistakes are made.
I suspect they've been misplaced.
There's a common phenomenon in older homes: little wee folk, faes/feys, fairies, elves or whatever, move things and hide them, causing elders to wonder what happened until suddenly something is discovered under a chair, stuffed in between cushions, or someplace where it never would have likely been put by a younger person.
When something goes missing in my house or my father's, I try to think: what are those fairies and elves up to now and where did they hide the checkbook?!
As for prescription eyeglasses, those glasses aren't good for anyone else, so I bet they are under a sofa or in-between the cushions.
Oh, my Dad would accidentally throw out things or bump things into the trash, so the Caregivers knew to dig through the wastebaskets before putting the trash into a bin. It was the Caregivers that clue me in that Dad was throwing out current bills.
It is, of course, not impossible that a hired caregiver steals. Every other profession in the world has bad guys -- why wouldn't caregiving?
Does your loved one have dementia? Here is a not uncommon scenario in dementia:
LO, to self: A lot of my things seem to disappear. People must be sneaking in here and taking my things! I'd better protect my things and hide them. (Places wrist watch in oatmeal box. Places reading glasses way in back of night stand drawer.)
Later, LO to daughter: My watch is missing! Someone is coming in here and stealing my things! And they took my favorite reading glasses, too!
This self-fulfilling paranoia cycle is miserable for everyone. The watch may show up a few months later when someone makes oatmeal cookies. The glasses may not show up until the household furniture is sold or given away.
If your loved one does not have paranoia associated with dementia or some other illness, this hiding stuff to protect it and then forgetting it is hidden is less likely to apply in your case. But it is common and is worth considering, and possibly conducting a very thorough search in the house.