Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
L
lilcat55 Asked December 2015

Can my mother-in-law's sister get custody of her?

My daughter has guardianship/POA of her grandmother. my husband died 11/6/2015. the dad died in 2013. his will and grandmas will leaves all to ted my husband and his heirs. Now mother in laws sister is taking my daughter to court to get custody sister is in late 70's. served papers to daughter 2 days before christmas. and they said they don't want the house, excuse me what makes them think they could even get the house, their reason for doing this is they are mad because the nursing home won't tell them anything. good reason to do this right?? grand daughter is 27 only granddaughter. been on same job 8 yrs being trained to be a manager, has no bills, pays her own house bills, 2 trucks paid for, been with same person 9 yrs, married 2, just got a divorce, he wanted it so he could move girlfriend, daughters friend into the house. so divorced 9/2015. really been hard on her plus having to take money she cant really spare to hire lawyer. any help would be most appreciated. thank you.

lilcat55 Jan 2016
my husbands/heirs name was on deed and his mom signed it over too before they went into n.h. so if they had to get medicaid for n.h. above medicare they couldnt get the house, thats why daughter its her house dad left it to her. we consulted with attorney so i think we have bases covered on house. daughter didnt inherit guardship she filed for it. i some times dont explain myself very well. thanks for your reply.

pamstegma Jan 2016
lilcat , PLEASE see a lawyer, because you cannot inherit Guardianship. Nor can the granddaughter claim ownership of the house via a Will, because grandma is still ALIVE.

ADVERTISEMENT


lilcat55 Jan 2016
hi pamsteggma....my husband was poa/guardian of his parents since 2008. the sister had no interest at all in both of teds parents. now that ted is gone they swoop in with this. daughter as i said is 28 this yr. lives in grandparents house since it went to ted/son and gdaughter. shes about 5 min from nursing home, its an uncalled for mess. daughter just went thru a very hard time getting a divorce in sept and her dad dies in nov. thank you for your comment. will post out come.

pamstegma Jan 2016
Wait a minute. "grandma's Will leaves all to Ted" grandma is still alive, so Ted has not inherited anything.
The daughter is Guardian-- this was an appointment by a judge, correct? And the sister was notified of the hearing, correct? As long as there is a court order signed by the surrogate's court, your daughter will continue to be Guardian.

lilcat55 Jan 2016
its pretty much what u said. but the other reason they said was we dont want my sister to be put on life support, like its their place to say over my daughter the granddaughter. and they said we ran down to nursing home after my husband died and left phone no but you didnt call. daughter never got a no. and daughter said to not call me again. my health is bad. just their character. thanks again i will keep u posted.

Mincemeat Dec 2015
Do not discount the possibility that "aunty" has a bit of alzheimers or dementia. Early signs could be nosyness, paranoia, jealousy, obsession about "certain people", pot stirring, blame game, etc. Sounds like aunty has a mean streak and is conjuring up her own entertainment at your daughter's expense. To quote Garden Artist's boss, Pick your battles, but pick one you can win. This one sounds like it is worth winning.

lilcat55 Dec 2015
thanks for your input. hubbys dad left house assets to hubby their son, so states his moms will to son/his heirs. and too no back story, this is the 1st time we have heard from any of her family in yrs. didnt go to hubbys dad visitation, never called us. estate sale 2014 proceeds went in auctioners pocket i was in hospital nearly dead from waefen complications. hubby sick. so auctioner did what he wanted.we spent down our savings to pay their expenses. i just took money out of my ss ck to pay house insurance. now 284.00 due in jan. daughter is 27, same job, same guy for last 9 yrs. 2 trucks paid for, pays her house bills. just got divorced 2 months ago, he was running around on her. so double whammy. she lives 30 mi from me helps with me. so its a unnecessary mess/expense. we have our bases covered. will update u after court 1/21. thanks again. linda/katie.

igloo572 Dec 2015
Lil - which is it, is she already a court appointed guardian? or is she a POA? If just POA was the paperwork done by an atty and notarized with witnesses? Or was this a more casually done document?

Also what is the backstory on the estate grandpa left when he died in 2013?

Whatever the case, if daughter has been served paperwork to appear in court, then she realistically NEEDS to get & have an atty at the scheduled court hearing.

What your daughters atty will likely do is request the hearing to be set to later date. Which the court will grant. You & daughter kinda need to get on this ASAP as the atty can probably put in a request to change the hearing before the actual hearing (so no go to court costs) and all this is filed on line by the atty with the courthouse. It's not a DIY project really truly.

I'd look carefully at the paperwork to see just what the complaint is about....is Sissy filing for guardianship? Does the complaint read any malfeasance or lack of fiduciary duty by the POA? If this is the case then the complaint is being heard in probate court as its a probate judge who deals with guardianships in most states. It's a speciality area and you all need an atty with experience and know how the judge runs his or her court.

How to find one.. Since your hubby has recently died I'd first speak with whomever is the atty that is going to handle the settlement of his estate for you in probate court. If you could get the same firm to do both there could be some savings in costs & could ensure that the paperwork related to both is set up correctly for your daughter to be the guardian for grannie & heir to you & your late husbands estate. You could also contact the atty who did grandfathers probate from when he died in 2013 to see if they do guardianship.

If you don't have a probate guy, I'd go to your counties on-line access to documents & you should be able to go through the recent filings. They will show the name of the law firm who filed guardianships, wills, lineal heirship, etc. There will likely be a small group of names who do the majority of the filings. These are the ones with experience that you want to contact for representation.

Was probate filed in 2013? If no probate was filed for grandpas 2013 death, all this could get complicated. Really you need an atty. Probate attys are pretty inexpensive in cost as most of what is needed is pretty straightforward; they have online accounts with courthouse and publications, etc so a lot they can do simply themselves or have a paralegal do. Btw I've been an executrix twice & currently doing probate for my mom who died this year & really truly not having an atty puts you at a huge disadvantage.

IMHO this is not about HIPPA, that is just a smokescreen. It's about $$ and the whole "mom / dad loved you best" & the filing timed to get at you over Christmas & your family's first Christmas without your husband.

So just what is grannies financial situation? If she's in a NH, how is that getting paid? NH can run 5 -15K a month so there are funds paying this. How are house costs being paid? When grandpa died in 2013 was your MIL's sister expecting $ from his death? There has got to be $$ & resentment out there somewhere to support the idea of taking granddaughter to court.

If daughter is awarded guardianship, the costs to get this done can be paid from grannies funds.

I will say that based on my experience, if there is family infighting the judge can & will appoint an outside guardian. Judges don't want family dramarama & doing an outside guardian provides that. The hearings are pretty much an order done based on a checkoff of items by the courts staff attorney of items submitted in advance by your atty. (for the court I'm in currently any litigation or cross complaints have to go through a different in chambers docket schedule) If judge does outside guardian, family gets cut out of any decision making anymore....if probate hasn't been done for grandpa the new guardian will be able to be involved in that as well. All this could get complex. Comprende?

Really you need an experienced with guardianship & probate atty ASAP.

jeannegibbs Dec 2015
Linda, yes, most institutions (banks, care centers, you name it) want to protect themselves regarding the Hipaa laws. What I don't understand is why it didn't work like this:

Sister: The NH told us they can't discuss Gramma with us.
Granddaughter: As guardian I will put you on the list for basic information
Sister: Thank you

How did this ever wind up going to court?? It just seems so crazy for that to be the reason.

They can't get information from the nursing home so they want custody of her? That is just crazy. Either they simply are crazy, or there is some story behind this (that perhaps you don't know.)

I am extremely sorry for your daughter's stress and the expense of an attorney. Surely her attorney can make it all go away promptly.

lilcat55 Dec 2015
daughter is very responsible so the reason they told her was they cant get info about sister, hippa law....they are not on list to be told anything. they visit her, and there is no complicated back story....they are bible thumping sit on front pew at church and act like GOOD christians they are mad because nursing home wont communicate info with them....again hippa law.dont understand their motive plus they were the ones who brought up the house...oh we dont want the house. who are they to think they can get anything. my husband just died and 2 days before christmas they serve daughter with papers taking her to court. what a selfish thing to put my daughter thru. as far as daughter not letting nursing home communicate the nursing home is protecting themselves. hippa law. daughter then i did too called and ok'd it for them to get minimal info. my poor mother in law is there but not. she doesnt know a thing sad. her granddaughter is or was her life so she was to papaw. as far as where they will put her i dont know. she doesnt need to be moved. she gets excellent care. thank you for your comment. very appreciated. linda

jeannegibbs Dec 2015
If your daughter is legal guardian, appointed by court, I suspect that MIL's sister will have a very hard time getting that changed unless she can prove some wrong-doing on your daughter's part.

Grandma is in a nursing home. Where does Sister intend to have her?

Why isn't your daughter allowing the nursing home to communicate with Sister?

What does who inherits what have to do with anything?

There must be a complicated back story to this.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter