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J
jemmo16 Asked December 2015

We have a friend who needs assisted living, but she is not willing to move from our home. Can we get help with this situation?

we brought her into our home after she was exposed to rat poison where she was tending plants for a nursey company. she is legally blind and unable to drive. we know she is ill, but she refuses to go to the doctor. she is becoming incresing abusive verbally to both my husband and myself. since she is not a relative of ours, and she has no family, we do not know what we can do, other then ask for assistance in removing her from our home.

MaryKathleen Jan 2016
Everyone has had very good ideas. One thing to throw into the mix, you may have to evict her. If it comes to that, DO NOT do it your self, use an eviction service.

pamstegma Jan 2016
You need a personal injury lawyer for her ASAP. The company that caused the injury should be picking up the tab. Rat poison is usually a powerful anticoagulant (warfarin) that causes internal bleeding especially in the eyes and brain.

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Veronica91 Jan 2016
Just a guess JoAnne. She was nt an employee and was being paid "under the table" I still don't understand how she was damaged by the rat poison. Did she eat it?

JoAnn29 Jan 2016
Just a question, why isn't her employer being held responsible.

birdwatch15 Jan 2016
If you took her in you may need tge state to take over. Dont sign anything in her name. She sounds like she may need a mental health expert. Losing her sight im sure is devastating to her and being in the hands of strangers it sounds like isnt helping much. She will mist likely end up in a hospital that treats mental health until they can ascess her situation.

JoAnn29 Jan 2016
Don't sign anything for her. You don't want to be held financially responsible.

JoAnn29 Jan 2016
I hope you aren't taking the abuse. Call ur office on aging and run this by them. Please keep usupdated.

JoAnn29 Jan 2016
If in the meantime she needs hospitalization, tell the socialworker you can no longer have her in your house and u refuse to take her back. They will be able to find out her financial situation and have her evaluated. She can't be the only elderly person who has no one to look out for them. The state will take over.

Midkid58 Jan 2016
I'm answering only to be supportive of what has already been said. You took in a person you just know(!) and now she is abusing you and you want to gently remove her from your home? Yes, she probably is in need of a psych eval and they can keep her for 72 hrs and you can move her during that time. She's not going to be HAPPY, you know, so gear up for that. Sounds like you don't know her financial situation, so, sadly, beggars can't be choosers, she is going to go to whatever facility she can afford. I guess I am curious as to how this all came about. You sound like really kind people. . Good luck and keep us posted.

Veronica91 Jan 2016
Sad,sad situation. Of course she does not want to leave your home and enter an institution. Is there such a thing as a "nice" nursing home. I would start by talking to adult protective services. What harm came to her as a result of the rat poison? Did she eat it? Leaving her verbal abuse of you and your husband to one side she is or was an invited guest. Where was she living before? Can you contact the nearest society for the blind they in addition to social services may be able to assist with accommodation at the level she currently needs.

niyah321oki Dec 2015
If she is gravely disabled, which in my state means that she cannot shelter, feed or dress herself or if she is harmful to herself or others, we can call a psychiatric evaluation. They can remove the person from the premises for a 72 hours hold to assess. At that point, you can tell the institution that she is homeless, she is not welcome back. That is the last resort method. Its difficult to get someone out of the house, if they don't want to go. I live in the state of California.

JoAnn29 Dec 2015
Has she given you POA? As a non relative don't think you can legally place this woman. If she has nothing she will need Medicaid. I think you may need a lawyer. The state may have to take over her care.

Eyerishlass Dec 2015
You took this gal into your home when she needed help. She has become verbally abusive to your family and she refuses to go to the Dr. And she's unwilling to move???

It sounds like she needs more care than an assisted living facility. Find a nice nursing home for her and tell your friend that you can no longer care for her in your home and that you've made arrangements for her to live in a lovely nursing home where you'll go and visit her. Don't ask her. Tell her. Be as nice as you can be until it's time to not be nice but hopefully it won't come to that. If it does, simply tell her that she is no longer welcome in your home.

Once you've established contact with an acceptable nursing home avail yourselves of their social worker. The social worker may be able to be of some assistance to you in moving this lady out of your house.

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