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EugeneHolcomb Asked October 2015

How do I get a family member as a caregiver?

Llamalover47 Oct 2015
Gypsygemeni: Aww, thank you so much. I tried everything short of walking on water, but my mom did pass from an ischemic stroke. Best of luck with your mom.

gypsygemeni Oct 2015
i still have someone come and bathe them both in the morning though

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gypsygemeni Oct 2015
Llama lover,you are doing a good thing,I have done the same thing and I think it actually will add years to their life,because when I took over caring for them my mother almost passed away and she also was taking insulin 3 times a day for diabetes.I started treating her diabetes just with her diet and she no longer needs insulin.She was in a state that she didn't even know her own name or age because she was falling and hitting her head,but now I am here to make sure that does not happen

MikeTSW Oct 2015
Years ago our family pitched in to pay two younger family members(a grandson and his wife) to live with my mother in law who at the time had mild to moderate dementia ). I found a caregiver contract on line and we had them both sign this. This worked for awhile but was not the long term solution as her condition progressed. Some states do have Medicaid waiver programs that will reimburse a caregiver. They vary from state to state and may require nursing facility admission to by pass long wait lists.

Llamalover47 Oct 2015
If a retired adult child is willing to leave their home and move in with their parent in another state, caregiving can be accomplished although it is an extremely hard task. I did this for my mother.

jkling Oct 2015
Hi Eugene, I will share my experience and thoughts and I hope it will help you. I currently share the caregiving with my brother and his 2 girls (22 and 19 yrs old) AND my 24 year old daughter for both mom and dad at their home. We don't live with them. My brother and I are 49 and 50. We all have full time jobs. I was doing it by myself for 8 months. One family member is not enough. Even if it's just for you. We need breaks and we get sick, so it's optimal to have more than one family member helping. My parents were referred to assisted living by 4 professionals but they wish to stay at home, probably just like you. Also, they are able to pay for their groceries, prescriptions and for any home repairs that are needed. Sometimes they let us keep the change so we can replace the gas we used while running their errands (they both don't drive) . They also have home health nurses, PT and OT coming into their home every week. I don't know your entire situation is but we have been able to make it work. It takes lots of communication, organization, patience, flexibility, sacrifice, compassion and probably other things I can't realize right now. So, talk with your family and let them know what you need. And things do change by the minute sometimes. I hope you and your family can find a solution for now. I'm sure our situation will change but for now it's working.

gladimhere Oct 2015
Yes, gypsy, two at the same time is very difficult. You are doing a great job from the sounds of it! I did it for four years, mom with Alzheimer's, and stepdad general age related decline. I did it so they could continue to live together. Now they have moved to a facility, different areas, naturally. It is very difficult for both of them.

gypsygemeni Oct 2015
And yes they will have to be put into a nursing home as soon as i cannot provide the care that they need,right now I am able and willing and also I think I owe them to atleast do it until i am unable to cope with everything,it is very stressful caring for 2 family members at once

gypsygemeni Oct 2015
My father was in the military and he gets the grant through veteran's affairs and also I am in Canada

gladimhere Oct 2015
Eugene, are you able to pay this family member? Caregiving is a very difficult job, a 168 hour a week job. Is the caregiver for you or someone else? What are the medical conditions? Is 24/7 care necessary? If so, perhaps a move to a facility that offers an appropriate level of care is a better idea.

gladimhere Oct 2015
Gypsy, what division of state government? People ask the question how to get paid often on this site. Is there a specific program that provides the benefit?

gypsygemeni Oct 2015
sorry i also get community services and that another 6000.00 a year so all together i get close to 20,000.00 a year. Which is ok because i do not pay rent or anything because i have to be here 24/7 to make sure they do not fall or anything,i also feed my father through a tube so i have to be here

gypsygemeni Oct 2015
check with your state government,you may qualify for a grant for a caregiver and you would be able to use this money to hire anyone you wish.I am the fulltime care giver for both my parents and i get paid through a government grant my father gets.I get 3180.00 every six months and another 3180.00 i get for respite,that is money i get to pay someone to come and relieve me when i need a break but i usually just keep it for myself

freqflyer Oct 2015
You can ask family members if they wish to be a caregiver, and it would be up to them if they are up to the challenge physically and emotionally. If you find no one is up for the task, then you would need to hire a caregiver from an Agency. Remember, not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver.

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