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LR3130 Asked September 2015

I'm out of state, my Mother won't answer phone calls and I don't know if she is OK. What's the best way to see if she has dementia?

Mailman mentioned to Mom's neighbor she isn't taking mail inside. Her sister called the police and they went in the house. She didn't come out but told them she didn't feel well, didn't want to see her sister and wanted them to leave her house. She won't answer any phone calls or emails. She was having groceries delivered but the neighbor hasn't seen the deliveries lately.

Countrymouse Sep 2015
Are you in touch with your aunt? Do you know if something has happened recently to upset your mother?

Sunnygirl1 Sep 2015
I would investigate or have someone else investigate, ASAP. It sounds like my loved one when we realized she had dementia. She stopped driving or getting mail. She had stopped getting groceries. She was sleeping most of the day. When I went over, I had to knock on the door for over an hour. I had to keep phoning her and saying that I was not leaving until she came to the door. When I did get inside, she had the heat turned up to 90 degrees and was dehydrated. Spoiled food was in the fridge! Notes were taped up everywhere.

It could be caused by a number of things, including depression. I would certainly not delay. Check her bills, as she could have life insurance, health insurance or utilities that are past due or canceled.

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Windyridge Sep 2015
I've been looking after my parents from 600 miles away. I call everyday and would be totally freaked if no one answered the phone.

You need to get to her and check things out and get her to a doc to see if she has dementia or something else going on. Meanwhile use this site to learn about dementia and be able to recognize symptoms when you see her.

vstefans Sep 2015
She's not OK. Sorry to be blunt, but, you gotta get your mail or there is big trouble brewing, not to mention the obvious invitation for a break-in...while she is home, because they'll think she isn't.

Adult Protective Services can do a welfare check but she will have to be worse than just somewhat depressed if she is competent. I agree you - and probably Sis too - both need to go in person. Maybe you can persuade her you love her and she needs to go with you and get a medical evaluation. "Doesn't feel well" could be ANYTHING.

freqflyer Sep 2015
LR, what you described doesn't sound like dementia, sounds more like your Mother is depressed for some reason. I would schedule some time and drive/fly to visit your Mother to see for yourself what is going on.

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