My mother was just diagnosed with beginning stages of Alzheimer's. She is denying it and refuse to take meds. Advice?
By her not taking her prescribed medicine it is affecting the rest of the family (arguing) because we felt it might happen to her and see the signs in her. How can I get her to take her medicine?
J Gibbs touched on many good points. To me it boils down to the comment that it's not worth arguing about. Whether Mom admits it or accepts the diagnosis it doesn't change much. This thing only goes one way and the family needs to learn how to deal with her and not fight with her.
My Dad couldn't tell you if he had breakfast or what day it is but in his mind he's fit as a fiddle. We don't waste time trying to convince him otherwise.
We told our mom that the pills were to help her keep her memory. We did not mention dementia. But, alas, she had side effects and didn't continue on them anyway.
If you can't get her cooperation, there may be some small consolation in this: there is currently NO medication that will stop or delay the course of the disease. There are medications that may address some of the symptoms, very effectively for some people and not so well for others. It is always worth trying what the doctor thinks MIGHT help. It might really help. But also be aware that by not taking the meds your mom is not making herself worse or risking worse consequences down the line. She is just not taking advantage of a possible opportunity for some benefits now.
Personally, I think the rest of the family can just as well stop arguing. If she has dementia she has dementia, whether she accepts it or denies it. You are going to have to adjust your attitudes towards her, because you are not going to be able to convince her that you are right.
My mother's primary coping mechanism has always been denial. Why would we expect her to change now that her brain is damaged? Her doctor talks gently about "some memory problems" and no one ever mentions dementia to her. As far as I can see, this has not hampered her care.
My husband was an engineer and knowing cause-and-effect was deeply ingrained in his value system. He accepted that he had dementia. He discussed it. It helped him when I could point out that something going wrong was not his fault but a condition of the disease.
Different strokes for different folks. Let Mom deny that she has dementia. What harm will it do? Encourage her to take the meds if you can, but don't insist that she accepts the reason for them.
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My Dad couldn't tell you if he had breakfast or what day it is but in his mind he's fit as a fiddle. We don't waste time trying to convince him otherwise.
If you can't get her cooperation, there may be some small consolation in this: there is currently NO medication that will stop or delay the course of the disease. There are medications that may address some of the symptoms, very effectively for some people and not so well for others. It is always worth trying what the doctor thinks MIGHT help. It might really help. But also be aware that by not taking the meds your mom is not making herself worse or risking worse consequences down the line. She is just not taking advantage of a possible opportunity for some benefits now.
Personally, I think the rest of the family can just as well stop arguing. If she has dementia she has dementia, whether she accepts it or denies it. You are going to have to adjust your attitudes towards her, because you are not going to be able to convince her that you are right.
My mother's primary coping mechanism has always been denial. Why would we expect her to change now that her brain is damaged? Her doctor talks gently about "some memory problems" and no one ever mentions dementia to her. As far as I can see, this has not hampered her care.
My husband was an engineer and knowing cause-and-effect was deeply ingrained in his value system. He accepted that he had dementia. He discussed it. It helped him when I could point out that something going wrong was not his fault but a condition of the disease.
Different strokes for different folks. Let Mom deny that she has dementia. What harm will it do? Encourage her to take the meds if you can, but don't insist that she accepts the reason for them.
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