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burnedout2 Asked April 2015

My husband blames me for going to assisted living. Advice?

Had stroke, was falling, moods, emotional and mentally never knowing what mood wanted HIS. Medical people knew it was time for me to "do something" or it would kill me. Have had heart operation, severe osteo. spiral femor break suddenly, couldn't pick him up aniymore, bathroom issues, would NOT esersise, eat,sleep,&
tv & wait on him. Lost myi girl to cancer 2 1\2 yrs ago, now my son has it, & the only gal I have left is not in great health but can't depend on as muich as a phone call. Granddaughter got married and apparently has chosen his family to be "her" family as their always togeather, live closer, same church which is fine but I have been cast aside more or less since her Mom died and it hurts more than I could say. Really bad when one has time to do what one "wants" to do or someone else leaves little choice.. I am 76 & tired as I've been doing this for 13 years. My husbands familiy was "to busy" or it was "to far" to drive up to see their brother 220 mi R.T. in 1 day even offering to pay their gas!! The only thing "I" hear is "call if something happens". Told husband that and his precise words were "don't bother".. We thank God for a wonderful cousin and her husband who live about 1 1/2 hour from here. There are health problems there too but theyi are the ones who deserve a medal & crown & they will I'm sure have theirs one day.
I'm venting, feel lost and lonely, but keep on going so would really like some response if you care too. A friend of mine lost her husband very recently as we agreedd that it would be so nice if we didn't and wouldn't have had to hear you should-would-could have, etc.unless the experience had occured for them. It is not meant to be so harsh but it is true.
I haven't written for ages - forgive3 me for that but hope to resume at least oaccassionally. I also hope you all had a VERY nice Easter. Love to you.

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2015
You would have to call the company and find out.

CuriousMe Apr 2015
My father has long term care insurance and is getting to the point of needing assistance with every day living. Does anyone know if a family member can be considered a provider through the eyes of the insurance company?

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pamstegma Apr 2015
Aren't good cousins just wonderful? Mine carried us through many crises. I too lost my daughter. She was only 32, had battled brain cancer, skin cancer and finally leukemia. I hear your pain. You have done the right thing for hubby and you need a way to heal. Antidepressants help a little, but you have to find the inner light you have, redirect yourself to a new horizon and make a leap of faith. You may find answering questions here very therapeutic. I did.

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