Caregiver for wife with Alzheimer. Is it appropriate to make friends with ladies through a senior site, and meet for dinner and talk?

My boss' wife had Alzheimer's for 15 years and even though he was quite the social type, a bit of a ladies man, he always was home for dinner with his wife after work, and home with her all weekend. For socialization he would plan lunch 2 or 3 times a week with one of his buddies.... I realize that might be hard to do if one only has 45 minutes or an hour for lunch. And he would take a golf weekend every now and then if he was able to get his caregiver to stay all weekend.

I would have no problem with my husband seeking companionship, but I am very leery of online dating. There are some very predatory types online, and if you are being secretive they lure you in and threaten to reveal the affair unless you pay up. Protect yourself.

I agree with vegaslady. Use common sense, be honest with people and have a life.

I am asking myself what would I want for my spouse if I were the one with Alzheimer's. I would want him happy and enjoying life, whatever that means.

I have been in a caregivers support group where one of the men had an Alzheimers wife in a care facility. He was devoted to her, but still needed some companionship. He saw other some other ladies for just what you are suggesting. He seemed happier for that and no one criticized him. Go for it

Are you being totally upfront and honest with the women you meet? I think it very inappropriate to present yourself as a single man, but if everyone involved is aware of all the circumstances, I have no problem with it.

I would worry about how this impacts your relationship with your wife. Do these friendships give you a new lease on life and make it easier to devote yourself to your wife's care while you are with her? Or do they make it easier to make excuses to neglect your wife?

It does sound hard hearted for me to say this, but I think it is inappropriate. I understand your problem, but a person should always do what is right, not what might be for the moment. I know this is a forum for reassurance. Could you find other ways to meet people of all genders who you could visit with? Such as bird clubs, gem and mineral clubs, senior centers, bowling etc.?

What if the tables were reversed and it was you who had Alzheimer's, would you want your wife to make friends with guys through a senior website? Wouldn't it be better to go to a senior center and meet some new buddies, meet up for poker, etc.?