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xhausted Asked October 2014

My husband attacked me this morning. I don't know what to do but keepmy distance. Any advice?

Getting a roof on our house today so it will be a BAD day. I have had poor response from sheriff department in the past. He is so negative. I'm taking a caregiver course at local senior center- seems so pointless as it focuses on positivity.Bruises up and down my arms. Can't go on like this!.

ASusan48 Oct 2014
I'm with everyone else here, Xhausted - get some help and get it fast. My ex's father lived with us during his final months and was an abuser all of his adult life. When he developed dementia and anoxia, it was far worse. Some of his "episodes" were humorous (like him calling me a witch because he said I put a spell on his wife so she wouldn't listen to him)- some were definitely not (like when he picked up a heavy cut glass ashtray and flung it across the room at his wife, narrowly missing her head, or when he threatened to shoot me because I looked at him the wrong way).

Get your husband to the hospital NOW and find out what's going on. He may have reached the point now of needing placement in a facility - as hard as that will be, it is in both of your best interests.

Veronica91 Oct 2014
I think you know what you have to do. It is hard because this is not the husband you used to know. Try and look at him as the stranger this disease has turned him into and protect yourself. Seriously how could you care for him if he broke both your arms

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Countrymouse Oct 2014
What will happen to your husband if he seriously injures you, or worse? God forbid. But if you need any further motive for taking one of the options advised above, think on that.

freqflyer Oct 2014
xhausted, ask yourself this, if your hubby was of sound mind without any dementia/Alzheimer's what would you do if he was aggressive to you causing bruising? Would you take the bruising on a regular basis? Of course, not.

Write down the telephone number for your hospital's ER and keep it near you.... if hubby gets abusive call the ER yourself and explain the situation, since you feel the Sheriff hasn't been helpful in the past [which tells me your hubby has been aggressive before].... let the ER call 911 for you.

BarbBrooklyn Oct 2014
X, have you talked to his doctor about this? What does s/he say? Is he hitting you because he wants to get out? Or for some other reason? You need to keep yourself safe. Have you considered going to stay with a friend and reporting to APS that he a person in need of supervision?

JessieBelle Oct 2014
xhausted, I haven't handled violence, so I am unsure of what steps to follow when it happens. I wondered if there was a way to handle it without involving the police. The thing I would be concerned with is further violence. It is a very difficult situation. I hope that other people have some input on ways to deal with violence in people with dementia.

kathyt1 Oct 2014
It is time for a nursing home. When they hit the aggression stage, you are in danger. For your on safety and sanity, he needs to be placed.

JessieBelle Oct 2014
xhausted, there is only so much a caregiver can do. I know it is the disease that is making him this way, but you will still be hurt. I agree with ba8alou that your husband needs to be somewhere that can handle his aggression. Talk to the police about what happened and work with them to get him into a place where he can get help. There may be a medication that can calm him down and make him feel better. I know that this has to be hard on him, too. Big hugs that you can get the help you need for you and him.

BarbBrooklyn Oct 2014
X, call 911. Your husband needs to be taken to a hospital and admitted to a behavioral unit for meds to be adjusted. If Sherrif won't send an ambulance ( please take pictures of your injuries) get a private ambulance to transport him. In an extreme situation, you might have to say that you are going to file assault charges. But get him into care!

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