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Debi1306 Asked September 2014

Have had to back off from seeing Mom so often. She calls constantly. Any suggestions to stop the calling?

Mom has Alz/Dementia/biopolar and has become verbally abusive to me (not the Assisted Living staff - thank goodness) and increasingly delusional. Have had to "back off" from visiting her so much for my own sanity. However she calls constantly. Any suggestions to get the calling to stop? I have stopped answering the calls but it is getting really "wearing"!

anonymous179890 Sep 2014
P.S. I still visit a couple of times a week, run her errands and ensure she has all she needs. Since I changed my phone number she's had 3 more strokes which seem to have knocked he stuffing out her and she's quite passive but no way will I ever give her my phone number or address.

anonymous179890 Sep 2014
I was the recipient of daily phone calls from my mother (in a NH with parkinsons, dementia and numerous strokes). Every call was nasty, screaming abuse and trying to pick a fight. On the edge of a nervous breakdown - shaking, hair falling out and eventually, after many months, having a black out driving my truck at 85 - I changed my phone number, made it unlisted and told her as I didn't use it I got rid of it. She doesn't have my address either, just the name of a nearby village as, if I hadn't answered the phone she would have called the cops on me - did that 20 years ago when she wasn't demented, just a narcissist control freak.

I was quite ill for months.. Drastic action but I had no choice. It was her or me and had I not taken action I doubt I would be alive today. Even now I rarely feel 100% well. Stress does terrible things to you.

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MaggieMarshall Sep 2014
I guess I'd ask the AL staff to make sure she's heavily involved with any programs they have. I don't think you can do much to make her stop though. I learned fairly early on in life that the only behavior I can change is my own.

Your "not answering" is probably the best thing you can do.

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