Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
D
Dil12345 Asked July 2014

My mother-in-law is in an assisted living home. Now, insists on going home. Any advice?

She has done very well from February until recently. She has some dementia. Cannot cook or look after herself, although she insists she can.

BarbBrooklyn Jul 2014
Have her checked out by her doctor if this is a change in mental status. It could be the dementia getting worse, but it could also be something like a uti.

sunflo2 Jul 2014
Does she have a home to go home to? That is the first question.

I suggest you meet with Director and AL team and get their perspective on her desire to go home, has something happened, incident or other that makes her want to leave, etc.

Maybe you can all come up with some options for her, some part time help so she can stay where she is, but can get some help preparing simple meals, running errands, etc.

Does the facility have a memory care unit she can transition to? Can you afford some additional services or care to keep her in AL unit for awhile longer? Have you taken her to dr for full medical and mental work up? What is his prognosis and assessment of her current state?

Lastly, I would not tell her yes or no to returning home until you've done above. Tell her "I understand, I'll look into it. In the meantime, how can I make this better for you? ".

Maybe spend some extra time visiting or enlisting family, friends to visit, have a meal there with her --in the dining room so she gets out of her apt. Consider bringing in carry out and have dinner in the dining room. Visit with other residents to help her re-engage at the facility.

She may be just going thru a blue spell and longing for the life she remembers not necessarily wanting to go home. If she still has her old home, or there are special chairs, furnishings, pictures, china, etc that she would enjoy, consider bringing over a few pieces to recreate a favorite seating area, room etc. maybe even paint a wall the same color as her old LR, DR, etc.

ADVERTISEMENT


ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter