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hope22 Asked April 2014

What to do when the home care aid is not a good fit for your household?

I addressed this issue earlier. For some reason I am upset after the health care agency's response to my concerns. In short....up until recently, I have been satisfied with the level of care provided to my Mom. Recently a new aid was hired who is, for lack of a better way of putting it, coarse. She talks about other homes she visits, uses indelicate terminology regarding other patients, talks about sexual advances made towards her by one of her male patients and uses very explicit language regarding his requests, and, every time she visits, demands that I help her. None of the other aids do this. I have repeatedly attempted to stop this persons visits, not by causing issues. I am not trying to get this person in trouble, however after the agency's response to me this morning, I am thinking I needed to have point blank spilled the beans about every single issue as her activity here is probably present at other folks homes...and those folks might be less able to speak out than I am. In short, I was left to feel almost as though this agency would prefer that I seek out someone else to provide hospice service.

The aid told me this morning that if a caregiver was not going to help her, she was "out of there" and she has previously told me she will not attend to someone who is sick, running a fever, throwing up, etc. I'm not sure what this persons thinks is involved in health care, but I told them in no uncertain terms I did not want her back and if she was the only one available I would rather care for Mama myself that allow her back in this house. That comment was met with a pretty terse and cold response and the supervisor promptly hung up, almost in my face....Maybe it's time to look for another hospice provider? I know I'm tired, would this have been offensive to anyone else?

hope22 Apr 2014
Thanks Eddie. Those were my feelings too! It's pretty sad when it is easier to do it yourself than have to deal with an overbearing person like this bossing me around in my own home.

Eddie Apr 2014
She's rude, crude, & crass; and thinks she's the Coca-Cola of in the caregiving desert. As if you couldn't do better. ... Don't worry about getting her in trouble and speak out. I'd have gotten rid of her a__ in a heartbeat.

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hope22 Apr 2014
Yes, it is a home health care/ hospice agency. And I am worn out from all of it. And I do not think I am demanding. I always set all their items on a little table, hot water ready, everything they requested when we first went over it all....I clean up afterwards, so to me, for me to ask to simply be able to have three brief moments out of my week to just sit down for a few moments...I have to admit I was a little in disbelief when she wanted help, AFTER she knew I was having a weak spell and had to sit down....She is WAY too overbearing and when I called and spoke with the supervisor, it seemed NONE of my previous comments requesting this particular person not come had even been addressed by my nurse to the appropriate person..That concerns me now as well as I am not sure how much I can trust the nurse, who to now has been an integral and vital part of this process for me and for Mama. The thought of losing her is painful as she has become like family. I will add that on occasion I know it may be necessary to provide help and do not and never have minded doing so, but to literally be EXPECTED to do it by this idiot.....I was shocked.....

Eyerishlass Apr 2014
It's time to look for another hospice provider. This is not the norm. You've had too many issues with this agency.

Is this a home healthcare agency that also does hospice? Try using just a hospice company.

It really shouldn't be this difficult to get good help. The aide was totally out of line in her remarks and if she's talking about another client to you I wonder what she says about you to other clients. A breach in confidentiality is a huge no-no and the aides know it.

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