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Willow215 Asked February 2014

Mom is gone now. I'm left with my S-father who shows MANY signs of Dementia. My s-sister is helping me w/ him. Any help?

If my s-father would need Nsg Home placement (which he definitely needs) my s-sister & I would be left homeless. Our parents had/have a Reverse Mortgage. The Attorney says my s-sister could "buy out the Rev. Mtg.", but I've read so much that says this cannot be done. My s-father is being very difficult & refuses to allow his daughter to buy the house from him, even though it is for his protection. We're trying to keep him in his home. Has anyone else ever run into this type of situation? We want to do the right thing but are both lost when it comes to Estate Law. Is there anything we can do to turn this into a positive solution? His Dementia is very bad. Is it time to let him go and let him be placed into a Nursing Facility? He hasn'twashed, changed clothing ir shaved in over a month! He askes the same questions over and over and has even had hallucinations. He actually scares me. He can be very mean! Any suggestions, similar stories and information would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks... Kathy

Willow215 Feb 2014
(Continued) - I'm unsure of what is in the Contract should one of them die before the age of 99. I wish I understood this Reverse Mortgage stuff better. I do believe my s-father WILL need Nsg Home placement since he is no longer able to care for himself in most every way. He's too stubborn to let anyone help him in any way.

Willow215 Feb 2014
Thanks Jessie. It would be great if my S-father could keep the house even if he had to be placed in Nursing Facility! I don't know the stipulations of their Reverse Mortgage. My mom handled all of the finances and all other things related to everything they had/have. My s-father is absolutely clueless. I begged her to share the important info with me "in case I'd need it." Still, she refused. Now I'm floundering, but my s-sister is being a Huge Help! I do know that the contract of their Reverse Mortgage states that "they can live in live in the house until they're 99 years old or until death...whichever comes first." I'mm not

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JessieBelle Feb 2014
This is a difficult situation. Check the wording on the reverse mortgage. If it will pay until your father's death, he can live in a NH and still receive the money from the reverse mortgage. A reverse mortgage is really a home equity loan, with the house being used as the security for the loan. Are you and your s-sister heirs to your s-father's estate? From what I understand, the heir will have the option of repaying the loan if she wants to keep the house. Otherwise, the house will be sold and the loan (with interest, of course) paid. Read through your s-father's contract with the lender to see how it will work and if the loan is called in at death or when your s-father no longer resides in the house. If it is the latter, I wonder if the house could be held in case there is a chance for him to come back home. I don't know about this. I hope that someone who knows reverse mortgages better than I can comment on this.

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