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chrissykall23 Asked December 2013

I need sleep...What can I do to get my Mom to sleep on her restless and painful nights?

My mom goes to adult daycare mon-fri, she has sundowners and is very agitated at night, comes home and is up and down all night long. When I get her ready for bed sometimes she is sleeping all night and like last night she was up and down all night from 11pm - 6am. I got a little sleep but she kept moving from chair, to couches, bed and even tried to sleep in mine. I know the cold weather is really bothering her arthritis because its bothering me too. I have asked doctors for suggestions they are no help they just say to keep doing what im doing. Been to neurologist they have no clue either. My mom has a brain injury from a fall 70 years ago and its not a typical case of dementia. Another problem when she is restless she tears the house apart. I've already had caregiver here for the week so I will be spending the weekend putting house back together. I have talked to my caregiver counselor about this and she says I can't do anything different. My sister got to witness this behavior too which im glad when they came down for our christmas celebration.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Dec 2013
I, too, am surprise that your mom isn't getting better pain management. Just because she can't complain about what's wrong (she may not be able to figure it out), doesn't mean that she shouldn't have the best pain control possible. Arthritis pain can be excruciating.

Pain medications won't help her Sundowner's, but if she's more comfortable she may sleep better once she gets to sleep. You may need to see a doctor other than the neurologist for this.

I agree that it's terrific for your sister to see what you are coping with. I hope she can help you find some ways to get needed rest. ADC is wonderful, but you need someone to stay the night on a regular basis, as well, if your mom can't sleep.
Take care,
Carol

lastresort Dec 2013
Don't know if it will help you, but those cheap little color changing led things really fascinate my aunt. I keep several and change out which one occasionally, but when I turn them on they seem to hypnotize her, she then goes to sleep without the getting up and tearing up the house. Might be worth a try, they are usually available about $3 and if you catch them right after christmas on half that...

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babylettuce Dec 2013
I'm surprised the doctor isn't treating her pain. She is most likely restless because she is in pain and there are a multitude of solutions for that. It might be time to change doctors. Have you tried OTC pain/sleep medication? The only one I can think of is Tylenol PM, but there are probably others. Alleve is good for inflammation and lasts longer than the usual 4-6 hours. Ativan (not an OTC) is good for anxiety and sundowning. You need a doctor that will step up, not just let you deal with this on your own. It's good that your sister is getting to know what you go through. Keep us posted, and good luck.

chrissykall23 Dec 2013
I asked the doctor she told me there wasn't anything for sundowners. She is anxious almost daily its even worst on the weekend when she doesn't go to daycare. I kn ow how to keep her entertained but some days i run out of things to help keep her calm. She has arthritis from head to toe and after hip surgery the pin isnt in all the way and i talked to orthopedic surgeon and said there is nothing that can be done and that i was doing good just continue....but i don't feel like im doing good. i tried aleve on her because thats what works with me but she takes meds for seizures and high blood pressure. doctor refused to give her sleeping pills because of her falls she has. but i'm tempted to try tylenol pm on saturdays where she doesn't have to go anywhere the following morning at a certain time. i may have to take her an hour away from home to the univeristy hospital because i'm fed up with all the doctors here in quad city area

babylettuce Dec 2013
In addition to what Carol said, I would like to emphasize to you that you talk to the new doctor directly. If you don't feel free to be brutally honest with him/her in front of your Mother, ask for some time alone with him. Be completely honest about how you are suffering, too. I think caregivers are afraid to appear weak, and that keeps them from getting all the help that's available. I don't know if that's true in your situation, but it might be. Take all the time you need, and describe exactly what you are coping with so the doctor is motivated to do everything possible. Don't gloss over how she wrecks the house or the very high level of anxiety that she's experiencing. Leaving the office with a pat on the head and 'you're doing fine' is not an option. You know what I mean? I'm sorry, sometimes it takes eye contact and emphasis to get their attention. Keep us posted, Sweetie. I admire how patient and courageous you are. I hope and pray that things get better for you and Mom.

ferris1 Dec 2013
I'm so sorry your mom is keeping you awake at night. Try this simple solution that does not involve a habit-forming drug. Get some Melatonin at any Walmart for several dollars, give her one about 7 p.m. and she will sleep. Try that. If she needs another, give it to her. I don't know exactly which brain injury is affected, but this should work. Hope you get some rest!

anonymous205154 Dec 2013
A toasty warm electric blanket .ask the doctor about a NATURAL Sleep aid...Melatonin they have it in walmart in a liquid form..under 5.00..taken with B12 liquid it acts quicker..but ASK HER DOCTOR FIRST...to get the go ahead..Sometimes natural herbs are not recommended with certain other antibiotics..like for cataract surgery eye drops...ect...it is always a good feeling to go to BED ...feeling like a WINNER maybe Play a few games of Checkers..Hang man or even TIC Tac toe...LET HER WIN...be amazed at her skills..but overly..and let her know she is a winner..If you are Christian...Say a bed time prayer with her..that GOD give her every blessing from his heart and hand to her life...Kind words to sleep on..feeling like a winner and a little dose of sugar coated medicine..will help everyone get a good nights rest...Just be sure...bladder is empty..as I take the Products I told you about..and they will gently put you to sleep in a natural peace...and ez to wake up too...For pain..see if the doctor will allow her to take Prickly Pear Extract..for inflammation.. I take this for mine...I do not need any other meds..this is it..these 3..and a vitamin..Without the Prickly pear extract I would be suffering..it is not a cure..but one you start it and feel better..the quality of life is good...it cost me about 50.00 for 3 bottle on amazon..they last over 4 months..I am getting my moneys worth.....I can do so much more!!!! HOPE this helps..and always ASK a DOCTOR FIRST for taking and meds..even over the counter! Merry Christmas

chrissykall23 Dec 2013
thanks everyone for all these suggestions. I have gotten her to sleep a little better in the last couple days. Last night she slept from 11pm to 7am which hasn't happened in a long time. We were both agitated today but we went shopping at Walmart LOL! I will be going to doctor in the next few days after holiday so I will ask about this natural supplements. I get more information from her pharmacist than i do the doctor anyway. I wish she could live in a warmer climate its very cold here now for the next couple months. My pain is horrible at 40 I can just imagine how bad her pain is.

karen2861 Dec 2013
I have to agree with the melatonin suggestions, I give my dad 3mg, or sometimes a little more, of the liquid mixed with juice, or sometimes with hot chocolate, and it works like a charm.

pipruby Dec 2013
See if the MD will OK Turmeric/Curium as an anti-inflammatory. Be aware some of the suggestions given are also blood thinners, so again, check with the MD. A rubdown on the most painful joint areas (lower back, hip, ankles, etc) with Arnica may help. Be sure to assure her that it will help, because a large part of the relief is from the touching and her mind. I agree with the electric blanket. I have an electric mattress pad (I don't wet the bed, yet) and it helps with my aches, even in the summer when I use it but no covers! (The heat rises through your body). I have one under dad plus under a water proof pad, mattress protector, a gel foam topper and THEN the electric mattress pad. House hasn't burned down yet in about 15 years between my use, then his.

Passion Flower tablets or tea might help both of you sleep better also. Tazo makes a pretty and yummy one.

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