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winans1965 Asked December 2013

Is there a way to get silver alert for my Mom who has the beginning stages dementia because she still drives?

My mother is 68 and has the onset of dementia, we noticed a year ago and had her check by her doctor. It was not until like three months ago when talking with the doctor that he had expressed a concern. He had talked to my father but he says "she is okay" she is just forgetful sometimes. Just recently he himself realized after many months of denial he has started to see changes. She has had a sleeping pattern change has her days and night confused. She still continues to drive I have stressed to those her live with her she should never travel alone even to the store. I have even talked to mom about dementia and explain some of things she might be feeling she has agreed on a lot of them.
My concern is her driving she could say she going to store and end up who knows were. I had seen a silver alert advertisement on tv. I would like to try and find out how to get information so I can look into putting something into place before she just gets in her car and ends up missing it is a fear I have. She has always been independent and just does her thing. She has a cell phone but most of time forgets to turn it on. I have just started going to doctors with her. so if anyone could even contact me about silver in our area I would appreciate it.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Dec 2013
Hi winans,
A Silver Alert is issued when someone is missing, so this isn't likely what you need now (and hopefully never will). However, if you mother does go missing, call you local police department and see if they can issue a Silver Alert.

You might want to look into special shoes with a GPS chip attached or embedded. There are also bracelets and other jewelry that carry a GPS chip that can track you mother's location.

This service is by subscription, so it's not free, but it can help keep track of someone who may wander or become lost. I'd suggest that you discuss this with your dad and see if he thinks this is right for your mother. If so, there are companies on the Internet that carry these products. You should compare plans to make sure you find a qualified company and a decent rate.

It's good of you to be concerned!
Carol

jeannegibbs Dec 2013
A person with noticeable dementia SHOULD NOT DRIVE! Getting lost is the least of your worries. If she "forgets" that she just passed a sign indicating the cross street is one-way and she turns into the flow of traffic, the consequences could be dire. Having someone riding with her won't help at all if she forgets which pedal is the brake. Memory loss is only one part of dementia. Along with it are usually lapses in judgment, sometimes a deterioration of depth perception, and generally slower reaction times.

Losing his driver's license was the worse thing that happened to my husband (in his opinion) during his 10-year dementia journey. But if he had continued driving and killed someone I can't imagine how either of us could have lived with that the rest of our lives.

This isn't something you can "wait and see" about. Persons with dementia SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING.

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sunflo2 Dec 2013
I would also suggest putting a contact card/note explaining her condition and emergency contact info in the glove compartment of the car. Maybe prInt up contact card info and place in her wallet. That is what I've done with my mom.

She only travels locally, so I also provided her info and my contact info plus a recent picture to the local police dept. I live long distance so I wanted to make sure they had her info on file.

The GPS mentioned above is a good idea. There are devices that can be put on phones and cars to track a person also --similar to what you can install for teen drivers. You can have bracelets made (drugstore) that lists info about the person if she will wear it. I understand that you can have them be permanent bracelet that they can't remove...but she might not want that or agree to wear it.

CarolLynn Dec 2013
I try to live by the philosophy that "the answer to an unasked question goes unheard." So, excuse me for jumping in when this query is not on the table, but there is something glaring missing from both the question and the answers.

If you are worried about her driving and getting lost, it's already time to be worried about her driving at all! Someone only gets lost because they can't remember. I'm sorry to tell you, that goes hand in hand with not remembering how to drive, rules of the road, respecting traffic signals and pedestrians in crosswalk for parking lots, etc., not to mention that you're in New York with winter road conditions to deal with.

Because driving is so closely linked to independence, taking the driving privilege away from your parent is one of the hardest things you will ever do.

But do it you must, and BEFORE she INJURES or KILLS some innocent person or pet, or even herself!!!

Countrymouse Dec 2013
Your mother will end up on the front pages as the lady who drove thirty miles on the interstate into oncoming traffic if you don't act promptly and STOP HER DRIVING.

jims555 Dec 2013
We went through this with my mother and at first considered a GPS tracker for her car. We realized we had to act when she was stopped for turning the wrong way down a one way street. We found it easier for her car to "breakdown" and not start. While waiting for "the parts to repair her car" we drove her everywhere she needed to go and eventually she stopped asking when her car would be fixed. I suspect deep inside she knew she should not be driving but did not want to admit it to herself or to the world. Having a broken car was a good excuse.

As the others have said, getting lost is not the only possible outcome of her continued driving and the other possibilities are much more dire. You need to find a way to get her off the road.

winans1965 Dec 2013
thank you for the suggestions

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