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mrseize1974 Asked September 2013

What if sister forces dad to sign, advanced directive, DPOA, living will when incompetent and against his wishes?

VA hospital allowed it to be filed without letter of acceptance signed by sister, and without 2 doctors declaring him mentally incompetent, thought files state he showed signs of dementia. my sister altered files and documents erasing me and my mother from family history. and she added her name to his bank account to gain access to his deposits from VA and social security. when he was forced to sign the advanced directive, DPOA, living will by my sister he could barely walk talk couldnt resite date and couldnt write his name.The witnesses from VA both worked there, and allowed this to go through. if its stated by my dad in his files he didnt want the advanced directive,DPOA, or living will and sister waited til he was incompetent to decietfully get it signed can she be prosecuted? for frauduently obtaining his signature?

unikornfairy Sep 2013
The dynamics of a family are put through the wringer once an elder parent can no longer fend for themselves. I am worried simply because if what you say is true, then she did this behind the family's back and that is always a cause for concern. The VA may have been witnesses, but if they knew your Dad had other family members, and knew your Dad didn't want this, and that other family members had expressed needing/wanting to be involved in his care and were PHYSICALLY INVOLVED (as in being at the facility to help make decisions, listen to the doctors, get diagnoses, etc.) and had stated they were willing to follow through, then there's an issue that should be brought up to the VA's Patient Advocate. Ask them exactly what they gave the sister power to do, it could be they only gave her Medical POA in order to get him treated. It could be that Dad's situation deteriorated and the sibling was there to handle things in the "emergency". (I was thrust into this situation, mainly because I was the only sibling who ever brought Mom to the hospital, or to the doctors and quite frankly, the nurses wouldn't have agreed to the other siblings because they'd never seen them before. Me, I was always with Mom, and always hands-on with her care, and the hospital staff knew me by name and sight.) If it's for Durable POA, demand to know what made the VA's Medical Staff and Legal Team think your Dad needed this done in such haste and have them explain why the entire family wasn't contacted so this was a family agreement. Again, the VA's Patient Advocate must be involved in this immediately.

Talk to the Ombudsman, the Patient Advocate, contact an Elderly Care Attorney whose first consultation/directive is free and follow their guidelines to the letter. If you fear the sibling is going to steal Dad's money or neglect him, contact Adult Protective Services and file an order of investigation. DO THIS TODAY!

Good luck to you and your family, and may GOD Bless you all.

Reverseroles Sep 2013
If it was witnessed, he wasn't forced I would say and its legal. Normally it has to have 2 witnesses who will say in court that he was competent. Why, do you think she will steal from him or not give him good care? Call the Adult protective Services right away to investigate. Even if it was legal, she cannot take his money but will have to take care of him. Unless you dont trust her, all should be fine so don't panic. Make that call and get it settled.

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Decatur30033 Sep 2013
Is there an (State) Elder care Ombudsman in your state?

pamstegma Sep 2013
LOL! NO! Unless he was formally declared incompetent in family court, his signature still counts. AND legal guardianship is a long, expensive, complex procedure. Pursue it if you can afford $5K for an attorney. Been there done that.

Decatur30033 Sep 2013
There are many forms of Elder Abuse, and some things afe done with good intention out of desperation, and we don't know the family dynamic. On it's face it does sound inappropriate; or worse.

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