What happens if my elderly father who's caring for my demented mother dies first and has not put a POA in place for my mom?

Also, has your father given anyone durable and medical POA for him for when he can no longer take care of your mom or himself?

Your dad cannot put a POA in place for your mother and her dementia might be so bad that she's not competent to do it for herself. I like the answer given by NancyH.

FaithinJesus, I'd ask your dad. I'd ask him what you just asked us, "what's gonna happen to mom if you die first dad?" If he tells you what he wants done, then remind him that unless he gives someone the power to do that, it won't happen. Make him start thinking about HIS future, and what HE wants done with mom.

More information about this would help you receive more relevant answers. Is your father still alive as it sounds like he is? IMMEDIATELY have him execute hey general durable power of attorney naming whichever of you he wants to trust the most as the agent. Also as soon as possible, get with an elder care attorney and get a Trust prepared, again with the one he trust the most to carry out his wishes as the trustee. He should also named the proper person (probably but not necessarily the same person as the GDPOA) as his durable power of attorney for healthcare (DPOAHC). I don't think he can execute a DPOAHC for your mom, but I believe there's a way for a notary to do it or perhaps attorney. That you'll have to check into. What you're trying to avoid here is going to court to get a judge to decide. Conservatorships/Guardianships are an expensive proposition, especially if there is disagreement amongst family members.