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Dreyfuss Asked July 2013

Is it too late to remove brother from my parents trust?

My parents have a year to live at best. Their trust has the money divided equally between their four sons. My youngest brother is a parasite of the worst kind, undeserving of a nickel. My oldest brother is the executor and I am the successor trustee. I would like to take steps to eliminate my youngest brother entirely. Is it too late for such drastic measures?

kathyt1 Jul 2013
I agree with Jaques. It is not your decision. What you see as a parasite your parents may see as needing help. Be careful what you wish for, your parents might decide to leave everything to the parasite because of persecution from your brother and you.

orangeblossom Jul 2013
Whoa Jaques - rather harsh than supportive, and jumping to conclusions! You could be right, but I hope not. However, Jaques makes a good point that your parents may want to divide everything equally regardless of how deserving each of you may be. My first inclination would be to consult a good ELDER Care attorney. You parents mental state may be a factor in whether or not anything can be changed at this point. Check out some of the articles on this site regarding that subject (see Money & Legal tab). Jinx also made a good point in that monies your brother received during your parents lifetime could be a consideration - again I think only an attorney could answer these questions to your satisfaction. Also, as others have said, these were your parents wishes at the time they drew up the documents. BTW, do you know if it is an IRRevocable trust? If so, I anticipate you can do nothing about it. If they were going to have a change of heart based on one child's future behavior or lack of concern or affection for them, would they not have voiced such feelings before now, or at least initially exercised the option of drawing up a Revocable trust? These points may indicate whether or not it would be appropriate for you to pursue this matter.

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Jaques Jul 2013
Who are YOU to decide that he's undeserving of a nickel? Is it your money or your trust? Are you privy to all the details of his relationship with his parents? They are his parents too you know. And they may want to leave him something. I would certainly want to leave each of my kids something (I don't have kids) and wouldn't want 1 or 2 of them to decide what I could give the other.

That might be true that he's not deserving. But it could equally be true that you want to cut him out to increase your share. And I suspect that's the case.

Bottom line is that it's not your money, it's not your trust. And it's not your decision. I think your question and what you're attempting to do is despicable. It paints you in a worse light than you're trying to paint your brother in.

Jinx4740 Jul 2013
He probably doesn't deserve a penny, but I would be reluctant to leave him out entirely. It just seems like bad karma. I don't know your brother, of course. You should only do this if it is what your parents want. The money is theirs, after all, and the "perfect" parent doesn't show favoritism.

If you do try to leave him out, can you document money that he was given during your parents' life, that means that he already got his share? I'm sure your lawyer will know all about this. Also consider making a videotape of your parents to establish that they did this out of their own free will.

Why can't we all just get along? (Maybe because of people like your brother.)

assandache7 Jul 2013
Do your parents want to remove your brother from the Trust? You have to remember that these are your parents wishes...My husband had the same problem with his brother but that's the way his Mom wanted it, so he divided the monies equally..

Dreyfuss Jul 2013
My oldest brother (the executor) is concerned that the parasitic brother will tie this up in the courts and we will all end up with nothing. It seems that with the proper signatures, it should be cut and dry.

vw9729 Jul 2013
No it's not too late if your parents are of sound mind. My mother-in-law changed hers and recalculated the percentages and elimination. Your parents would have to go to their attorney to have this changed. Good luck!!

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