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Goldie1800 Asked June 2013

Wondering if trying to deal with Management of a community is a losing battle?

My parents have been in assisted living for a year and a half. Dad has progressed Parkinson's and they knew that when they accepted him. His mind is very much in tact; has lost all his speech but we communicate via iPad and email; severe neurothopy in legs but still manage to transfer and walk with walker to bathroom. Otherwise he is in motorized wheel chair. Every time he slips or has a slight tumble, it is like the world is coming to an end and a call is made for an intervention. Honestly, I think they are just after more money. Their answer..move him up another care level or bring in outside care to sit with them when he MIGHT fall..out of pocket of course, cost of $50,000/yr in addition to the $86,000/yr they are already paying. So frustrating!!

trish888 Jul 2013
That sounds like your typical assisted living home. They take all of your parents' money. Then they give your parents their marching orders...even though they may have promised to care for your parents. My advice? Get your parents outta there! Move them into a place that offers genuine "aging in place." Of course, the low-quality, fire-retardant carpet could be contributing to his falls. I speak from experience. An A/L home that is not responsive to your needs, will not get better. Find someplace that is more affordable. Do not sign any hold harmless agreements. I can't believe any attorney would let you do that. I'm so sorry. I had to move my aged mother home with me, because her AL place just became impossible....after she'd given them more than a hundred grand.
Good luck.

Goldie1800 Jul 2013
Dad offered to pay for the carpet replacement and I offered should he do that we would have our attorney draft a hold harmless agreement. Honestly, at this point, if they don't want them there, why would I want to keep them there?

Dad was falling a lot in 2012 because he was putting himself in situations he should not have. When they suggested he bring in outside help to sit with him for those hours he 'might' fall, at a cost of $40-50 thousand a year, he made a huge lifestyle change. Year to date he has only fallen about 10 times, more of slips than falls. In 2012, he was averaging 8-10 falls monthly during the last quarter. So, as you can see, he made drastic changes.

The physical therapists had even taught him how to recover from his falls himself, if he was not injured of course. And he was doing wonderful. An example of a slip..his sock slipped on the carpet while he was taking his pants off, standing next to his lift recliner chair. He slipped on his butt, recovered himself. They treat that as a fall..geeeez a pete..it was a slip. That is what I was dealing with :)

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blannie Jul 2013
I wonder if they're concerned about their liability? If he keeps falling down and if you're complaining about the carpeting, maybe they're concerned that you'll come after them with a lawsuit. If you otherwise like the place and it meets your parents' needs, can you offer to sign something that absolves them of legal liability for his falls?

Goldie1800 Jul 2013
Well, thank you for your response but it seems I asked questions they did not want to answer, except with a 30 day notice of Lease Termination. I will definitely be looking at your suggested options Perseverance. Thank you.

Goldie1800 Jun 2013
Thank you. It is so difficult to find a place with units large enough for a couple. This community did accommodate us by combining a studio and one bedroom apt. They have almost 1,000 sq. ft. That will be hard to beat. However, knowing dad's continue will only continue to deteriorate, maybe that is a route to go. Thank you for the insight.

Perseverance Jun 2013
Sounds like you may want to move them to a nursing home where they provide better care for the aging. We had mom at a 5 star EXPENSIVE assisted living place (like the one your parents are in) and as my Mom declined, the monthly bill exploded. We decided to pull her out to a smaller, less gltzy, but more LOVING and better trained facility that had a flat monthly fee including everything.

I pray you have wisdom for this next phase.

Blessings.

Goldie1800 Jun 2013
We have a good feeling that some of the slips and falls have been caused by the low quality fire retardant carpet..so why should he be penalized when he has complained about the carpet over and over again?

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