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FayneJane Asked November 2012

Mom is alert but physically has little time left, How do I make this the best Thanksgiving for her and maybe Christmas?

She is not ambulatory but with the help of Hospice she gets into her recliner every morning. So we can't go anywhere. What can I and my brother do to make this a special time?

Sooozi Nov 2012
You mention that your mom is alert. Ask her what she would like most. Also, ask her what advice she has for you or other relatives. Make her the center of attention and shine a light on her. Hug her, hold her hand, tell her you love her and that you enjoy spending time with her.

My mom wanted her hair and nails done, so I would arrange that for her. She also cared a lot about what she wore and was very happy if I brought her warm shoes and pretty colorful scarfs to cheer up her outfits. She also wanted lipsticks and enjoyed hand creams. Give her a little foot rub.

Also, if she is interested in reading, tell her what's new. Recently I got my mom a Kindle. My mom was not at all comfortable with technology, but she loved it. She loves to read and we picked out great new books that interested her. Then she found that reading the Kindle was great for when she woke in the middle of the night. She just swiped her finger across the Kindle and could start reading in the dark. When she got tired, she flipped it over (didn't have to reach to turn off a lamp) and the Kindle turned off by itself. She was delighted with it.

Sign up for Facebook and friend all of your nieces and nephews and cousins and anyone else in the family. Tell them you will be sharing their pics with her. Then show your mom the latest posts on Facebook. All my nieces and nephews accepted my friendship request and they started posting pictures they knew she would enjoy.. because they knew I would share them, even though they could not be with her often.

I hope you have a wonderful time with your mom. Someone on this site told me to hug and love my mom every day, because one day she would be gone. It was the best advice I ever got!

Kimbee Nov 2012
Bring out some family photos, cook her favorite special foods and be sure to get grandkids and any little ones there-have them bring their holiday art projects like turkeys made from hand tracings, etc. Or have supplies on hand for the kids to do a simple project like this, which they can give to her before they leave. At Crkeys made from hand tracings, etc. Or have supplies on hand for the kids to do a simple project like this, which they can give to her before they leave. At Christmas, get "squirty" icing and some big gingerbread men for everyone to decorate, or some sugar cookies-have everyone help decorate them before baking. Make sure you get some pix together too, of course. If she had been involved in any church/Sunday school class or other group activity, you could invite a core group over for a short, simple party-cake n coffee or similar. She might enjoy a simple gathering of her care providers, there all together at the same time? I would time-limit any of the gatherings that are not close family so it's not so tiring for her. Make sure you decorate the house for the holidays, if you have her old china n silver, break it out for the holiday meal. Have everyone bring or send her a card or photo that she can enjoy after the visitors have gone. I hope you have a special holiday season with your mom. Kimbee

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littletonway Nov 2012
Gather as many loved ones for the holidays as possible. Maybe a open house type activity were no one stays too long and Mom doesn't get worn out. Talk about happy memories and how much she has meant to each of you. Fill the days with love for her.

It will be a bittersweet time I am sure for all of you but that doesn't mean it can't be a thankful and joyful time as well.

God bless your family.

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