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mercy53 Asked March 2012

My sister and I have put my mother who is 77 involuntarily into a mental ward for assessment. Can we apply for guardianship of her husband?

We had to get a lawyer and go to court because it was involuntary and my stepfather, a physician, had refused to get her help. She has cataracts on her eyes, her teeth are falling out, halluncinating, doesn't know who people are, gets lost, etc. We had a family intervention with a therapist and begged him to get her some help. He said yes and then pulled out at the last minute, leaving my sister and I to force the issue with an attorney and the probate judge to put her in the hospital for an assessment. Here's the question, she's been in for 7 days so by law we had to go back to court, it was determined by the doctors at the hospital that she is a paranoid schizoprenic, latter states of alzheimers, thyroid problems(not on meds) and a multitude of untended medical issues. The court extended her stay for another 28 days to try and get her looked after and on some medications. My step-father, married to her for 15 years, wants to take her out. We know that he can't for 28 days, but what happens at the end of the 28 days. If she goes home with him he won't administer the medications and my mother will be back in the same if not worse condition. Can we apply for guardianship if her husband is alive? He is 7 years her junior and physically well.

silverdragonfly Mar 2012
You mentioned that you have an attorney that assisted with getting your mom in the hospital. He should be able to assist you with this issue. If he can't, due to financial or other issues, then contact the Adult Protective Services department in your area. Typicaly, APS works under the Dept. of Social Services and can be found in the blue pages of your phone book. Otherwise, do an internet search for APS for your county, city, or province. It will be much more effective if APS gets involved BEFORE she comes home. It sounds like you need to have your step-dad examined for dementia or depression, as either one will impede his judgement and ability to help or treat your mom. If there is no APS (and maybe even if there is) then contact the Behavioral Health department in your area. Again, typically they work under the umbrella of Social Services. If all else fails, the call your Department of Social (or Human) Services and ask them to direct you to someone who can help. Good luck to you!

palmtrees1 Mar 2012
why would your step dad not want to help her? This seems abusive of him to ignor her needs. Would he fight you on the guardianship issue? God Bless you, this sounds really bad.

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JaneB Mar 2012
Can you seek a court-appointed guardian for her? Ask the facility for help. Then it isn't you against Step-Dad. It's an independent person whose job is to seek the highest good for your mother. What a heart-rending position for you all to be in. Sending you good vibes...

YourgirlCindy Mar 2012
Oh. Wow. This certainly sounds complicated. My first thought was this; if the stepfather is a (younger) physically well physician, wouldn't he still be bound by the hypocratic oath to "do no harm"? And isn't he actually CAUSING harm by not giving her aid? Can this be brought to the attention of the court? Bless your mom's heart! I do hope she is able to get appropriate help and get on track without interference. My prayers are with you!

3pinkroses Mar 2012
God love you, you are wonderful daughters and trying to do right by your mother in such difficult circumstances. The lawyer should be able to guide you through this. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care.

jeannegibbs Mar 2012
Wow! I don't know the legal technicalities, but my heart goes out to you. What a sad, sad situation. I am glad you have a lawyer and I sincerely hope you can bring about the best care for your mother.

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