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maryann57 Asked February 2012

What do I do, mom hates assisted living?

My mom is making me feel so guilty and depressed. She has been in extended Assisted Living for two months, she fell and broke her pelvic bone. She fell six months before that and broke her wrist. My Dad died five months ago, he took care of her, my husband had a heart attack last year, has a pacemaker, and other health issues. I am at the end of my rope. I go see my mom every day, I hear the same thing every day, "When can I come home, you don't want me". I tell her I want you Mom, but I want you to be safe. Then I hear, What made you change your mind? I tell her, I want you mom, I have a sick husband, I can't take care of you too. I have 12 steps to get to my bedrooms, she said she will stay in her bedroom all day. At the nursing home I hear from everyone what a devoted and loyal daughter I am going to see her every day. She is miserable and makes me feel guilty, what am I sopposed to do?

maryann57 Feb 2012
Thank you for your responses. I am joining a support group, I need to be with people that are going through this. I have been through so much, I really am no help to my mom right now. The thing is I really miss and want her home, just can't handle it right now, going through too much!! Thank you for listening!!!

NancyH Feb 2012
Maryann, gotta give her more time. A few months isn't long enough for her to acclimate into the new environment. Maybe you shouldn't be seeing her quite as often. If you're her only friend there, how will she make new ones? When you do go, why not take her around the building and meet different people? Eat a meal with her at her table and visit with her table mates. If she starts making friends, that will be half the battle right there.

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KrSo32 Feb 2012
You just gotta keep telling yourself that you're doing the right thing, for her and for you. Keep going to see her and letting her know you care about her.

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