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YourgirlCindy Asked February 2012

We are transitioning my father-in-law back to home after a stoke. What are the MUST-DO's or MUST HAVES to have in place for this?

He is mostly paralyzed on his left side, but has complete verbal skills. Also has some dementia. (Sometimes forgets why he is in the SNF and has to be reminded he had a stroke, for example.) Simply cannot continue to keep him in this facility due to costs! Mother in law is wearing herself out trying to keep a constant eye on his care at the center....or lack thereof and believes it would be worth trying to care for him at home. She is willing to look for and hire necessary help but we should know what to do first! Any suggestions would be helpful!

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Feb 2012
You should start looking at area in-home care agencies immediately. Your mother-in-law will need help transferring her husband from chair to bed, etc. He may need a hospital bed, depending on his condition. I'd suggest hiring an in-home nurse to come and look at the house and also give you tips on how to prevent bed sores, how best to feed him, and other special needs. Make sure you consult with the doctor in making this move. If you mother-in-law is exhausted by trying to keep an eye on him at the facility, she will probably be more exhausted taking care of him at home unless she gets help right away. Good luck. I hope for all of you that this works out.
Carol

195Austin Feb 2012
Carol always gives great advice-when my husband left rehab many many times the PT department would work with social service to help order equipment and get it covered by medicare some things were delivered to the NH directly usually with no cost to us. your MIL is going to need help or she will get sick herself-if coming home is not going to work out and you will know soon after he comes home there are probably other nursing homes in the area. His wife should not be driven to exhausation while he is in rehab-I was the first few times my husband was in rehab until I learned the staff was taking advantage of me and starte staying home-this is her time to get rest -she will need when he comes home-also write down all that she will have to do at home and lok at it to see if it is reasonable for her to do all that work-it may not be possible for her to do it for any length of time even if she is a saint and tries to go it alone-she probably is not young herself.

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