My 87-year-old-father will not let me wash his bedding or clean his room. How can I keep his room clean for health reasons?

Great suggestions! One other trick I used with the Colonel was to double sheet his bed. I put a Chux (type) pad on the mattress pad, a fitted sheet with another Chux, then a second fitted sheet with a Chux. That way depending on the issue, pulling off a layer would fix it. But he liked the changing of bedding. I have heard the suggestion of accidentally on purpose spilling water on the elder's bed and then saying "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! Here, let me strip of those sheets..." Clumsy you, but I've heard it works.

EC's suggestion is a really good one. I wouldn't even talk with him about it if he is so sensitive. If you can get some help with getting him out of the house you could take care of the sheets, mattress, etc. if you notice that he is wetting the bed get some of those bed pads and get him some overnight underpant diapers and just put them next to the bed but don't talk about it.. Maybe you could get him a really nice little treat and a card telling him how much you love him and make him feel accepted even though he is having a hard time accepting this. Love goes a really long way.

Is there any way that somebody can take your father on an "outing" of some sort, during which time you can wash his bedding and straighten his room?

It worked really well for me - my sister would take my husband for an outing, usually ending up with a restaurant stop for ice cream, coffee or some other favorite food of his. Meanwhile I took care of the things he was getting upset over.
He never seemed to noticed that things he objected to the day before were done.

Depending on how his mind is, can you set a rule of "In this household we change sheets once a week"?

I agree, if your dad is trying to hide the fact that he's wetting his bed, that would certainly cause him to stop you from changing his bedding. How embarrassing it would be for him to have his daughter see that. But if that's not the problem, then find out his thinking process as to why he's objecting. Ask him.

Hi 87hopingfor90, Maybe there is something going on that he is embarrassed about. Can you tell us more about your fathers health and living conditions? Does he live alone or with you? Is he able to get up and go to the bathroom on his own? How about his bathing needs? Can he care for himself in this way or is he getting help? Does he have extra sheets, someone to do the laundry?