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lfrousch Asked May 2011

What are some creative ideas to help an elder overcome extreme modesty?

As she has progressively gotten weaker, she no longer showers but takes baths from the sink and is at risk for falling, but refuses help because of her modesty.

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF May 2011
Excessive modesty is a problem for many women of that era. My mother-in-law was like that. We eventually hired an in-home care person to come and bathe her. She didn't like that either, but she accepted it since the person seemed "medical." She wouldn't allow a family member to help, but she would a stranger. This may see counterintuitive, but when you think about it, it makes sense to some people. They don't want their children to see them naked. A “nurse” is okay.
Other than that, sink baths are fine, but she should sit down, so you could put a chair by the sink and let her know you are available to help should she need it.
Experiment with robes that open in from easily and other ways for her to shield herself. However, do think about an outside person for a once a week bath. It may work.
Carol

vstefans May 2011
Would a bath bench help? Would a little therapy (PT, OT) help get her some strength and balance back, or is there a diagnosis that would make that impossible? Consider having a therapist do a home eval to make the situation safer too.

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