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M
Mihoo Asked February 2011

How can I ensure competent care and attention are being paid to my mom while she is in assisted living?

My mom, 82 years old, lives in a facility wherein it seems that the staff are not all skilled at doing minor hearing aid troubleshooting for my mom, who won't "speak up" when she needs help. I live over 600 miles away and have noone else to rely upon for help. I've spoken with several of the caregivers and the resident manager, to seemingly no avail and I am worried. She doesn't want to move because she has an older sister and a cousin living in the same assisted living facility.

Hopeful2011 Feb 2011
I was pretty much going to say the same thing as the above. If you cannot find a competent care giver, perhaps you can call a Pastor of a reliable church to recommend a person that has been a long-term member who would be able to do the above, and offer to pay that person?

It would be nice if you could move the three of them closer to you. We have been very happy with the Emeritus Assisted living home here, and there are several in various regions. I hope it all works out well for you. I can't imagine being that far away from a loved one. Please keep us updated.

toadballet1 Feb 2011
It is always challenging doing caregiving long distance. I tried it for awhile, but I could not get accurate information concerning my Mom's health. I finally moved her here, near us. She had family that she left behind, but no one was willing to help her including my sib.
If you cannot convince her to move near you, I would communicate as often as you deem necessary with the staff at the facility. No matter how nice the facility is, the patient who has the fewest visitors or interested parties, gets the least attention.
Is there another facility that comes highly recommended in her area? It may just be a matter of finding her better accomodations.
The last option, if you do not have anyone who can visit her on a regular basis, is to hire a paid caregiver who drops in on her once or twice a week as a "family member" and reports back to you. He or she can also help with needs that the staff is not addressing.
It seems like when you approach your 80s so many things go wrong all at once. It has been so much easier dealing with Mom's issues here rather than long distance.
good luck

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