How do you handle a mother who refuses to use the toilet?

Need to be more specific as to why she refuses to use the toilet? When my mom broke her hip they initially put her in pull ups; even when she was able to get out of bed and supposed to go to the toilet she said "it was more convenient" for her to just use the pullups, instead of going to the toilet. I spoke with the CNA's at rehab and they made it a point to get her out of bed to use the toilet. She insisted that the pullups were 'just so much easier for her"; basically she didn't want to be bothered getting out of bed (even though she was capable) and going to the toilet. So we need to know why your mom refuses to use the toilet. Thanks.

Sorry my idea was "ridiculous"....the post really was vague about just what issues were being addressed...

Thanx to all who offered suggestions on what to do with a mother who refuses to use the toilet. The question was meant to be "once led to the toilet, how can one gently have her sit down to do her business".

The person who suggested "retraining", well, that's rediculous. The brain is being shredded with Alzheimer's, so unlike children, Alzheimer's people can't be trained. But I do get the gentle handling of them.

My sister and I have recently found that handing her grandma's (her monther's) picture and calling on granny to help us, that we have experienced some success.

Again, thanx to all for the suggestions.

Get this one - my mom uses the toilet but when she's finished with her toilet paper, she carries it to the kitchen garbage can! All day, every day, when she comes out of the bathroom with the paper in her hand, I have to say "go back in the bathroom, throw the toilet paper in th toilet and flush" She looks at me so bewildered (every single time) and says "in the toilet?" like that's a strange request. I say "yes, and wash your hands" and she says " I did wash my hands" which she did, but then she picks up the used toilet paper to throw in the garbage. I have to explain this to her all day. Ugh. I seriously am laughing at these situations now where before I would freak out...I'm learning to accept what I cannot change.

Hi Sandy---This sure does sound strange-but for a person with dementia--perhaps it is not. I am not a professional, and lost my Mom to complications of AD..Just do your very best, and see if you can reach out to others -which is what you are doing-and get some ideas and answers. The 24/7 helpline number for the Alz Assoc is (800) 272-3900.
Best to you on your cargiving journey~
Hap!

I don't know what the exact issues are that you are having with your mother, but I know that the bedside commode made a big difference for my Mom and Dad. They mostly use it at night and I sometimes bring it into the living area during the day if I know they are having some issues that day. My opinion is that it is better to clean out of the pot rather than out of the pants. If you can be more specific about your Mom's issues we may be able to offer some better advise......Good Luck and God Bless

This may sound strange, but my mother wanted a little tv in her bathroom. It does help. Of course, the usual things need to be considered too as the others have mentioned. I even stay longer in the bathroom with the tv there. Good luck. Karen

Make the toilet area as warm as possible, rugs on the floor, maybe a vinyl padded toilet seat would help....even painting the room a warm color will help warm it up in there. Good luck with this one.

Talk to her doctor. The hygiene issue could start making her ill. is she holding in or letting out in the bed or chair? Gonna be a retraining issue if it is not medially based...Ask her what is wrong, why she wont go. It may be something like a fear of falling or the seat is too cold...

Could you be more specific: Do you mean refusing to go, or going elsewhere?
As a single parent with my son for many years, I draw on those mothering skills to help my 2nd husband who has Alzheimer's. It's like explaining things for the first time, each time. Takes great patience, respect and creativity to find the right solution for This Time.