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Morrigan Asked December 2009

What should I expect at a Guardianship Hearing?

I am scheduled to go to court for a guardianship hearing. My mom's condition has already been verified by her doctor, a lawyer, psychologist and a social worker. I am told that there will even be a jury at this hearing. What questions are asked at a guardianship hearing?

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
She did get a divorce, or she would have to in order to get the kids back?

anonymous404222 Apr 2016
The children can't wait to get out of foster care. They want to get bacm to their own church and don't mind coming to live with me. I am sure they would prefer going home to their mother but for some reason the court doesn't like this. She had to get a divorce and her own place that was suitable for her kids.

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debdaughter Apr 2016
oh, my, Jansheen, this is a difficult situation but I still believe - or at least in the case of my neighbor - that your daughter could still just sign the children over to you, although, with you living out of state, might be where the issue is, at least as in the case of the op's question, that was an issue there as well, something we get very concerned about with our granddaughter, with mom's family being out of state as well. What are the children themselves having to say about it?

pamstegma Apr 2016
You have been there, but you are not a party to the proceedings I take it. If you were, you would be up front where you can hear and speak. Now that you are in an open court room, bear in mind that the media may show up. I hope you know how ugly that can get.

anonymous404222 Apr 2016
There is one problem....there was no court reporter and hearings were in the judges chambers.. We contacted the attorney general and NOW there are audio and video recordings and ALL proceedings will be held in an open court room. I have been there every time, but was refused to hear anything. The attorney has had a hard time getting any info either.

pamstegma Apr 2016
Jansheen, I think you are not getting all the facts from your daughter. She has chosen this man over her children, which is highly unusual. Have a long discussion with an attorney and have the attorney get ALL the evidence and share it with you.

anonymous404222 Apr 2016
Sorry,hit post. The daughter has had a rough life and all of us tried to make her feel welcome. She called my daughter mom and we had a nice Christmas. She started getting weird around the first of the year. She was sneeking out at night through the bedroom window and meetng boys and smoking pot and drinking. When her dad came home early one evening from night shift he caught her and grounded her. Then she started saying that she was being bullied at school and her dad had to go get her because "she was too upset to finish the day" (@ 9-10am. On one occasion in February she called and again he got her. Her mother was on her way from work and she called and said that something terrible happened. When my daughter got home her other two kids were home from school and the step daughter said her father had touched her. My grandson was there and he said she was lying. My daughter is a very intelligent person and has been working at UK for over five years and is a principle in medical billin in cardiac care. She has always been a good person and mother. She e,xplaind. that she would have to take her to the hospital to be checked out.
Nothing showed up on the rape kit but the court has accused her of not getting her to the hospital in timely manner hence "child neglect" was put down, the children removed without even trying to contact a family member. That was all over a year ago. What are my resources in regards to charging them?? Or demanding the children be released to me. The stepdaughter went to stay with her grandmother and 16 year old aunt.
Sorry for the rant again. Thanks for any help or suggestions.

Sorrynotsorry Apr 2016
You're writing skills are better than most posters on the site. . As a former educator I highly doubt you are mildly retarded. You appear extremely intelligent to me.

anonymous404222 Apr 2016
My daughter married a man that had a previous record ( contributing to the deliquency of a minor) He did his ti e and completed his probation before they were married. The state of Ohio released him from future reporting. They moved to Ky. to care for her father in law, who is not capable of living alone. Everything was going fine until her husband decided to attemp to get his daughter from a previous relationship. She was in foster care in Tn. The judge in Tn. gave him full custody

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
They can do this, Jansheen, if they have strong evidence that your daughter is an unfit mother and that continuing to live with her puts the children at risk.

Is your daughter perhaps mentally ill? Is she addicted to drugs? Does she expose the children to criminal activity and/or unsavory characters coming into her home? Taking children away from a natural parent is an extreme step that most Child Welfare Departments take only reluctantly and after other attempts have been made to improve the safety of the children's situation right where they are.

In your situation, I would want to know FROM THE AUTHORITIES, (not from daughter) exactly why the courts are involved, and what the expectations are of the appointed guardian (you).

"How long" you will have the children before they MIGHT be returned to their mother will depend on why they were removed from her and what steps have been taken to to rectify the situation. For example, if the mom is mentally ill and can't be stabilized with treatment, the children might never be returned to her.

(Where is the father in this picture?)

How do you feel about taking the children in? Are you prepared to be their parent for possibly the next 10 years?

You say that your daughter has not been charged with anything. If you feel the removal of her children from her was not justified and she is capable of providing a safe and caring home for them, then she needs a lawyer back in her state, not Ohio. Can you help her with that?

My heart goes out to you. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your daughter, but seeing your grandchildren in this situation must be extremely stressful for you.

anonymous404222 Apr 2016
The courts are ordering either guardianship or adoption of my grandchildren. How long before i can let my daughter file for adoption of her own children back? They are transfering the children(8 - 11) to me in Ohio. This has really been hard on her. She has not been charged with anything and said if i didn't take them they would be put up for adoption. I don't know how they can do this.

jeannegibbs May 2015
Jeannie1959, why indeed? Is this a situation you know of? Tell us more about the circumstances and how the AAA is involved.

Jeannie1959 May 2015
If 2ADULTS ARE COMPETENT AND WANT TO LIVE TOGETHER AND SHARE EXPENSES, WHY WOULD THE COUNTY AREA AGENCY ON AGING NEED TO BE INVOLVED?

anonymous95109 May 2012
Yep, slap forehead, right after I had written it and submitted. Poor girl. I hope her life has worked out for the best. Thanks Jeanne. Hugs, Cattails

jeannegibbs May 2012
Just FYI, Cat, did you realize Help25's post is 2 years old? Not sure if she is around currently ...

anonymous95109 May 2012
Help25: Just because you tested mildly retarded (delayed) at age 16 does not mean you need a conservator, a guardian, or a husband to protect you. It could very well be that the trauma of being sexually abused by your mom's ex-husband contributed to the way you tested and also to the results that you are afraid of lots of things.

You are an adult now, not a 16 year old. You had a good job....what did you do? There are many people who are mildly delayed who lead independent lives. You have rights and you should not live your life in fear of what your mom may do to control your life due to a test you had at age 16 years old. The same holds true with your boyfriend. If you want to get married that's fine, but don't do it just to get away from your mom. And don't marry someone who will not respect you as a equal.

Did your mom drive you to and from work? Is that why you couldn't go to work when she needed you to babysit? Or did you just do what she wanted you to do?

There's a lot more here to talk about, so give us some more info. Cattails

jeannegibbs May 2012
Well, I imagine that she could try. On what grounds? Risk of what? Is your husband cognitively impaired? Was he three years ago when you started to live together?

I believe she'd have to prove that he is not capable of understanding the decisions he is making, not just that he is making what she considers bad decisions. Does she have opinions from doctors that he is not competent?

Lisalee May 2012
Can my husbands oldest daughter get guardianship over him, we were married 0n the tenth if this month and she filed on the twenty-forth? She's saying he is at risk but I have been with him for three years and I have been taking very good care of him from the begining. However there is a thirty-seven year difference between me and my husband but we love each other very much.

eppersonke Dec 2010
For the record, an adult may have both a guardian and a conservator, or just one or the other. A guardian handles personal decisions, including living arrangements, medical care, etc. A conservator handles financial affairs for the adult, if they are deemed unable to handle it themselves.

help25 May 2010
Shes not abusive to me or my brothers what so ever ...I did grow up abused by her ex husband though. When i was 16 i was tested as mildly retarded but even my mom will change her stories and if i make a mistake she tells me im not an adult and that i need to work at things..I cant get my ged if im being a mother to my brothers all the time..like i said i had a job as well but she ruined that for me because i had to work around her schedule.

AlzCaregiver May 2010
First, once you get married, your husband will by default become your "guardian," so that sounds like the best route, if you trust your boyfriend to protect you and love you. Do you now live in your own place? with boyfriend, or with your mother?

My mother was "conserved" because of financial abuse by two sisters, that I reported. So am a bit familiar with this from my own experience. It sounds to me like you need a "guardian" to PROTECT you from your mother. Guardianships are to PROTECT those who cannot defend themselves AGAINST people like your mother. Usually this is a county government program, under Adult Protective Services.

The person responsible for my mother's case also has a few dozen non-seniors she has to look out for, including mentally ill homeless adults of all ages. If you spoke with someone at the Adult Protective Services in your county, they could perhaps advise you. The county itself could sue for guardianship to protect you from her. Perhaps a restraining order against her could be issued by the court.

Thinking even further about how to make your mother pay for her crimes, for that is what this is. Did she know about your grandfather, and continued to let you be abused? Then she is GUILTY as well. Is she cruel to her brothers as she is to you? GUILTY of child endangerment. In reality, she is ENSLAVING you with this ploy to make you her permanent helper. If you keep playing out the possibilities, your mother could end up in jail and her other children taken from her and placed in foster care.

Talk to your boyfriend about this, then decide who to ask for help. If you plan on marriage then do not investigate the guardianship angle. If I were you, I'd get married right away and that would put a legal barrier between you and your mother. If the marriage doesn't work out, it will be easier to divorce your husband than it is now to scrape your evil mother out of your life. Report any abuse of your brothers to child protective services. Once you are on a strong footing, you can then see if you can help your brothers in a meaningful way, perhaps be put in a foster home where they'll be safe (one hopes). Foster care isn't always a sure thing either. I assume also that your mother is the vindictive type and may physically harrass you or even attack you.

Sure you'll get other advice. Oh, in a conservatorship hearing before a judge in a courtroom, the person involved must be represented by a separate lawyer. My mother was assigned a lawyer, and this gal interviewed Mom, talked to me, and stood up for Mom in court. (Actually she tried and failed to have me be the conservator of the PERSON regarding health decisions. There is a separate conservator to look after finances, called the TRUST conservator.)

So there is a good chance that your mother will not get very far in this ploy of hers, an an excellent chance it will backfire on her to the point she'd be jailed and her children taken away. While we're at it, let's get your grandfather arrested. It's time for you to have justice and happiness.

If you are living with your mother, perhaps there is a local shelter for abused women. You might have to hide out for your own protection, if she's that much of a danger.

help25 May 2010
Im 25 years old ..I had a good job but got fired because its like i have to work around my mothers schedule so she can leave me with my brothers to take care of...she threatens with getting guardianship over me. I feel she has this power of me and i cant take it. When i was 16 yrs old i was tested as mildly retarded scared of lots of things..I was emotionally abused,physically abused,and molested by my grandfather when i was little. I plan to get married my bf told my mom he thought about marrying me and she told him i wasnt ready...Shes making decisions for me and Im ready . I cant get my ged if im being a mother taking care of my brothers all the time or get on with my life as an adult. I need someones advice on how to deal and take care of it...moving in with my bf might be best for me because he can help me get my ged. I just dont know how to talk to my mom without her freaking out and threatening me.

Please someone give me advice!!!

Thanks,
Ashley

Morrigan Dec 2009
Thanks to everyone for their comments, and thanks to Secretsister for her hug! I do have an attorney. What I really wanted to know is what goes on during the hearing, do I get placed in the witness box? Will they ask stupid questions about personal beliefs, etc? I would rather hear it from y'all then the attorney who may have secret fish to fry. I truly can't explain the latter sentence except that I trust NO ONE in law and the courts. This is not from personal experience, only from what I hear from other people.

AlzCaregiver Dec 2009
I had to sit through a few days of hearings for my mother's case, and a lot of them lasted just sixty seconds. In my Mom's case, the county was suing for conservatorship of both person and estate, and the only snag was them not having the case prepared (three times), and my Mom's appointed attorney screwing things up, by moving that I be appointed personal conservator. That must have been good for a few thousand in legal fees they charged my mother's estate.

I believe we had to view a video beforehand. Most of the work is dong beforehand in the reports. You might want to go sit in on an hour of others' hearings to see what the process is like. In our courtroom, you had to sit close to hear anything, as the speakers were just for those involved. Actually, postponements, etc were discussed in my Mom's case and I had no idea what was going on.

Another thing, we were scheduled for late in the morning, so I went to move my car to the paid parking lot. Those officially involved moved it up to first on the schedule, so I missed the entire one minute. Just one of the things that you don't expect...my mother's future on the line, the deadbeat sisters sneering at me for missing the "hearing" (postponement).

SecretSister Dec 2009
Legal counsel is an excellent idea. Find someone you feel comfortable with and can trust. It is not the easiest way to go, so I'd get legal counsel asap. Best wishes, and let us know how things go.

DanielRomero Dec 2009
I am not quite sure but I believe guardianships are for children (under 18 yrs) and conservatorships are for adults. Conservatorship laws are complicated. Conservator responsibilities can be split (person and estate). You need legal counsel. Your local Bar Association can direct you to an attorney that specializes in Conservatorships/Guardianships that will provide you with an inexpensive perhaps free consult.

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