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caring44 Asked July 2009

Has anyone had a problem with a day care facility wanting to put their loved one in a diaper to make their job easier?

EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF Jul 2009
This should not be done for staff convenience. If she is totally incontinent and can't be managed any other way it may be necessary, but if they just aren't staffed (or don't want ) to take her to the bathroom on a regular basis, I'd question it. People get dependent on pads when they wear them all the time. Also, it's hard to keep adult skin healthy.
Carol

Jasonsmom Jul 2009
Working as a nurse in a nursing facility, it is good not only for cleanliness issues but also for dignity issues. We never refer to them as diapers or paper panties, we call them briefs, it sounds more like saying regular underwear and they aren't so self conscious and once they realize that their clothes are protected, as well as their skin from accidential or incontient issues, they understand that no one other then staff will know. I agree that if it is just for the convience of the staff and that they don't want to take the time with the residents, then you should think about checking into another facility. Also, I don't know a lot about medicare, but check into what they will cover.

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Micheleangel Jul 2009
I am so glad your Mom is in a good place, yes there are some nice places still out there.

N1K2R3 Jul 2009
This should not be a problem.......partial incontinence is very common among all people after age 70. So. They often wear "paper panties" and change them frequently. so what. It becomes expensive, about ten dollars a week, but again ....so what. Wouldn't you rather have your loved one in a paper panty and be comfortable rather than have to rush to the bathroom when the need arises? What if he/she can't get there in time? Then they have to change the cotton panty. Just get used to it. Depends or the house brand, which I prefer, is the way to go.

SecretSister Jul 2009
I see them as a blessing. Mom's otherwise great insurance won't cover incontinence aids, which is unfortunate, because it is a medical condition. They can become expensive for those whose needs are great. But the use of briefs is standard, and not just a convenience issue. Any thing that will help is a bonus. Just like women use "sanitary products" for monthly use, these are for those who have intermittent needs, and not be thought of as something bad or shameful. Better to prevent accidents, than to change clothing several times a day. Both men and women need the help, for some medical conditions, and it's better than the alternative. Often you'll see pads on furniture as well.

195Austin Jul 2009
Nursing homes do that all the time I would allow pull ups that can be changed often but if she is able to get help to the bathroom I would insist she use reg underware and just take a few extra one with her if it bothers her fight for her rights just because others stand for it does not mean you need to do it.

patrica61 Jul 2009
All nursing home and facility do require there resident's to wear diapers. Some have the pull up type. There are women that are at the same assisting living place that mom is at that know when they have to go the bathroom, they have no problem. if you still feel bad about it took over your contract with the facility most of them state in the paper work that you signed even for the day care. don't feel bad about it at least mom is with a home at night.
patrica61

Micheleangel Jul 2009
My Dad was in a skilled nursing facility last year and he was perfectly able to go to the bathroom but was in a wheel chair. They would not take him when he had to go because they were short staffed!!! I honestly was with him my husband too and my Dad had to Poo he started to shake and cry and said I have to go to the bathroom I pushed him out near the area where some aides were and they said oh it's ok just go ahead and go it's alright...I was so upset I can't tell you this went on the whole time he was there we brought it up at a meeting and all they did nothing. We got him out of that place as soon as we could I honestly never thought he would be the same I was outraged. When I asked them to take him to the bathroom different times they said we will get to him when we can. This facility is rated one of the best in the area, I wouldn't take my cat to this place ever!!! You just don't know until you get in what really goes on in some places.

Cat Jul 2009
The way I am interpreting the question is the *why* of a daycare using them. As Carol said - they should not be for the convenience of staff, and need to be changed immediately if the person has had an accident. I suggest that you check with them and ask specifically why - are they for preventing accidents that require floor / seat cleanup, or is the ratio between carers and daycare attendees too great to allow individual attention for bathroom breaks. A full adult diaper is a great way to come down with a UTI, rash, and is not comfortable.

On a personal note, my mom refers to them as "dorky things" and grugingly wears them "in case" on extended outings; she is proud that she redeveloped continence after a hospital stay and catheter left her incontinent. Although she has dementia she is still the lady she always was and exercises her right to a removable pad in her underwear with extras in the purse. I like Austins' comment - "fighting for her rights". I think that this is an issue we may face ourselves as we age - kegel exercises anyone?

Micheleangel Jul 2009
I never could understand though, why they would tell my Dad to go in his pants "it's alright" then when they would get to it change him. It seems to me that it was much easier to just take him when he said he had to go instead. They admitted they were short staffed his rights and his dignity didn't matter at all.

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