Mom passed in the nursing home, waiting for her surgery.

Question

I just don't know where to go from here. I tried EVERYTHING to get her to the Dr on time to have this surgery to remove this kidney stone causing her utis & thought this nightmare would be over. I hurt bc she couldn't hang on 1 more wk. She had another uti & I think it just infected her body. I never wanted her to feel sad or alone & I hope she knows that I tried to save her & bring her home. We didn't always have the greatest relationship but I would've done anything for her. I pray that she's finally at peace and not suffering from all of her ailments. I hated this for her, I feel like she just gave up rather than fighting 😢... they say we're both free now. I don't feel it

PCVS · Accepted Answer

TareanMe, I hope youvtake advantage of support groups. Perhaps they can help you work through such enormous grief. You did the best you could.

Rainmom · Answer

TaureanMe - I know how you feel about the timing aspect. My father passed on the third night of what was to be a five night hospice respite for my mom. Long story and I will keep the angry details out. But I was in the process of adding in-home help - making 18 hours a day into 24 hours. Daddy HATED being there. I had been with him the day before - reassuring him he would be back home soon. I guess he couldn't wait...Part of me wonders if maybe he decided to go while he was away from my mom and me to try to save us the pain of seeing him go - that would have been so like him. Anyhow - my sympathies to you and your family.

TaureanMe · Answer

Thank you all so so much!! Being a caretaker is not easy by any means & I've leanred through this site that other ppl are living the struggle too; but i was willing to try. I just spoke w her roommate & it fills my heart to know that she KNEW i wanted to take her home after her recovery! (Even though she was too afraid & wanted to even stay)... i was ready 2 take on the challenge that she did taking care of me. I got to hug & kiss her & tell her how ill forever be indebted to her for all of her hard work. God Bless you all! &#128150;

blannie · Answer

I am so sorry for your loss. You did what you could for your mom and I'm sure she knew that on some level. You were a good and loving child. Please take the time to grieve and yet find solace in the fact that you fought so hard to help your mom. Hugs to you...

Sunnygirl1 · Answer

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can find comfort in that your mom is no longer suffering.  It's difficult to understand how things work out this way.  I hope you can find peace now.

Guestshopadmin · Answer

You fought for her and you loved her. So sorry for your loss, and take care of you, too.

Eyerishlass · Answer

Your mom is at peace now. It's time for you to have some peace as well.

BarbBrooklyn · Answer

I'm so sorry for your loss, Taurean.

Mom passed in the nursing home, waiting for her surgery.

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