What would you want for your OWN old-age-to-death final years?

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We've seen it up close. Now we caregivers can use our knowledge and imaginations to help create better ways, better structures and systems -- for the future, for ourselves, for everybody. Ideas, wishes, dreams, hopes, all are welcome here!


Of course I would wish to live well without physical or mental impairments til I am 95, then to die peacefully in my sleep after my party.
What this journey has taught me is that no matter how much wealth you have, no matter how loving a family, no matter how well you have prepared legally for your old age, sh*t happens that is beyond your control. I am thankful that we in Canada will soon have the right to doctors assisted death. I am hopeful that it will be structured in a thoughtful, compassionate way, and that when my time comes I will have the courage to take advantage of it.
cwillie, so true! Haven't we all thought of a "Harold and Maude" ending for our lives. Yet, I am grateful that my grandparents lived beyond what was comfortable for them. I had time with them, when I was 26-27, and learned a lot in those last six years (they died at 86) that I wouldn't have learned if I had been younger. Those years were very precious to me. I felt so loved. So in thinking of what time I would want to "Go" I think I would always see something else I'd want to stick around to see. A wedding. A new baby. Another sunset, another sunrise...
cwillie, Good for you, that you in Canada have single-payer healthcare. With what we've got now in the U.S., I don't know if I'll have the OPTION of extending my life with even routine procedures, as they cost hundreds of thousands...
Old age? I will never reach the age of my parents, who were in their 90's. Even though my parents lived under their own roof, and me under mine, and I was more of a logistical caregiver then hands-on.... but the stress of the past 7 years has shorten my life considerably... the stress brought on cancer and heart issues.

I have no siblings, nor do I have any children. I've been very frugal all my life, and was saving to have a fun filled retirement with travel.... scratch that off the list... I will need all the money for someone to take care of me, either in Independent or Assisted Living.

If only we had a crystal ball.
After taking care of mom at home for a couple of years, and now dealing with her being in the NH on a daily basis, with no help from siblings aside from the occasional help with taking mom to an appointment (like ONCE in the past 2 years), and no financial help from them either, I can honestly say that NO ONE is going to take care of me in my later years. I refuse to put that burden on my kids (as much as I love them, I know only ONE of them would actually take good care of me when I became incapacitated). I fully plan on having a will in place and someone outside the family will be set up with POA and the ability to make decisions to put me into nursing home or assisted living facility when the time comes, and to make sure my payments are made, etc.
im used to an american styled freedom and it really is enviable in some respects .
my greatest fear would be one of my doughfaced sons telling me what they think would be best for me . what the hell do they know ? theyd have to live to be 245 yrs old to ever overcome and accomplish the things ive done . im not just talkin smack . i was building my own house with a chainsaw at the age of 27 . got smacked down at 40 , got back to my feet and built myself another . those two all knowing saps cant even manage to stay legal with the tax man .
I came to Canada in 75 with 2 suitcases, $100 and a roof over my head for a week. Like cap I've always done it my way, on my own. I'm in my mid sixties now and have no family. When I bought this tiny house 3 years ago it was very dilapidated but one floor with 2 steps down to the driveway and 2 steps out to the deck. Renovations have been done with aging and physical issues in mind. Huge jetted (didn't work) bathtub swapped out for a shower, porch enclosed to store wood for the stove, generator wired in and gassed up along with self propelled snow blower, greenhouse and raised veggie beds. Coop and run built and chickens coming shortly. Canning equipment at the ready for this year's harvest. I'm fortunate in having an on call handyman/helper to do the heavy stuff.

The lovely lady where I've been getting my free range eggs is about 4'9" and 90lb dripping wet. She likes her beer and smokes like a chimney. She's considering not doing eggs except for the house before winter as it's getting hard on her carrying water down to the little barn for them. She's 87 so there's hope for me yet!
ash ,
fortunately , i think the law in most states has a real hands off approach where elders are concerned . ive noticed in my ( farely poor ) part of the county there now seems to be a shuttle service to take codgers to town and back . gotta get their yeast and copper line you know ..
even when hospice was getting pushy with my mom and i , i noticed with fascination that APS preferred to talk outside instead of entering our house .
Cap its a little better here. Though I personally live in the middle of nowhere, theres a little shuttle bus that runs through nearby villages a couple of times a week that takes people into town for shopping. My 87 year old neighbour still drives her truck all over lol

* If you're at the store with a caregiver and they try to put something with your groceries to get you to pay for it, refuse to pay for it. As soon as I put it up on the counter or conveyor belt, put that item right back in front of that predator trying to get you to pay for their stuff. When it's your turn, tell the cashier to call the manager, and the manager can call the cops.

* If you can no longer drive, see if your doctor will prescribe a power chair or scooter if mobility is an issue. If you can't get one because you're not disabled enough but still need one, you can often find used power chairs and mobility scooters reasonably priced. Mobility scooters actually have very nice big floorboards for carrying groceries. All you really need is a box to contain everything while bringing it home. Using the tools when physical limitations is an issue is advantageous, taking your self to a nearby grocery store will lessen your chances of ever being taken advantage of by a caregiver because you do your own grocery shopping and transportation.

* I don't recommend using these handicap tools just for transportation if you really don't need them, this would make you look bad.

* If you don't need a handicap chair or scooter, you might invest in a nice garden wagon if you can still walk a very nice distance, because these particular wagons are very good for hauling groceries and even the laundry as well as other stuff.

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