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Mom passed away early this evening and so my caregiving days ended almost as soon as they began. It's only been slightly over 4 months since I moved Mom to Ohio to live with me and now she's gone. Am I sorry I moved her here? Not in a million years would I be sorry...if it had been 4 years or 40 years I still don't think I would be. As imperfect as I was at this "job" I could never regret it in the final analysis. I had time with Mom that I wouldn't have otherwise had and that in itself makes it worth the frustration, exhaustion, and all the other negative things I'd been experiencing.

Even though we only needed it for 1 day, Hospice made everything so much easier on Mom at the end. Just comfort care and a peaceful passing was possible. No heroics and no invasive medical procedures were needed.

This site has been a real eye-opener for me when I thought I was the only one going through this sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhausting and even sometimes comical journey we call caregiving. I want to thank all who have given me insight and advice when I most needed it. Good luck to you all who are making their way and those who are just beginning your own travels through this seemingly never ending maze.

I know my Mom is now peacefully in the arms of her higher power and need never suffer the frailties of the body and mind again.

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SneakyinOh and katiekat2009, I'm sorry for your losses. My Mom passed in Dec2010 and I've continued caring for Dad, now 97, since then.

I know the time will come sooner or later when I say goodbye to him. I hopeI do as well as you and others have in handling your losses.

You are in my prayers.
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So sorry for your loss. Prepare to just "wander around" for a couple of months while you try to find yourself again. My mom died two months ago and I'm still trying to find my new purpose in life. You'll be in my prayers.
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You will learn to cherish these last few months, and she will send you thank-you's in small ways you don't expect. God bless you and keep you.
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To everyone of you that have offered up condolences, thank you from my heart. The end is never an easy thing to go through and you second guess every choice you make. However I know I did right by my mom and am now in the process of upholding my last promise to her. She wanted to rest beside my Daddy in PA so that is where she is going. This is a promise I made to her a couple of weeks ago and one that I will fulfill.

GardenArtist, thank you but it isn't so much eloquence as it is an honest reflection on my part. You will have your own when the time comes and will find a way to express it.

Countrymouse, It was very consoling for me to write it and I'm thankful if it gives even one of you on here consolation also.

2Whitedoves, Hospice is truly and amazing organization. With their help Mom was able to slip peacefully away and I was able to be there as she drew her last breathe without the struggle of COPD.

So again I thank you all...so much to do even now but in ways I wish I could turn back time.
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Sneaky, what you've written is hugely comforting, thank you. I hope it was as consoling to write as it was to read. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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May your Mom be fully at Peace now and I am also glad she had you, her daughter. Hospice-unbelievable people in that organization, special Angels. Now it's time to take a breath, reflect, and take care of you.
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I too am so sorry for your loss but am glad that you had the opportunity to be with your mother during her last days and share these last moments. I'm sure your presence and care made her life easier and more rewarding, just by being together.

Your post is quite eloquent and speaks to a level of reflection I hope I can achieve when the time comes. Thank you for sharing your insights and emotions with us.
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What a blessing you were able to take care of your Mother and see her journey completed. My sincere condolences. Take good care of yourself now!
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SneakyinOh, you did wonderful and your right, that time you spent with her was priceless for both of you. Im sorry for your loss.
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I am sorry for your loss. Your mom was lucky to be surrounded by someone who actually cared as she passed.She passed without being scared, hungry or lonely,just loved.
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Be comforted by your memories, my friend.
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Sneaky, I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you were able to bring your mom over. And to spend the last few months with her - to renew and strengthen your relationship. No regrets, but with treasured memories.
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Sneaky, I am glad that you were able to spend the last months with your mother. I know you'll always treasure the time. I am sorry she is gone. Please take care of yourself.
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Sneaky, I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you had those last three months with your Mom! She is proud of you and appreciates all you have done.
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