After its over. What do you do?

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I have been caring for my mother with more and more intensity over the past 2 years. Although it never was full custodial care, my life became intertwined with hers on a day to day basis. This was very rewarding, I got to know her like I had never before. Although, I have always loved my mother, I came to love her as never before. It was also challenging, my mother was a very strong willed person, who was challenged to see the other persons opinions, points of view, and ways of doing things as equal to her own. She loved, but had a hard time expressing that. Over her illness, she seemed sometimes to be obsessed with her health. Over all though I would have traded my time with her for anything. But, it came to an end early this morning, she got her angel wings, and left this earth. Several days ago, she suffered a major brain bleed, and nothing could be done to restore any quality of life, so we chose comfort care over life saving or prolonging procedures, as she had directed. Now, I will have to find a new direction to my life, which I will do, along with missing my mom and best friend every day of my life. So, I guess what I would like to say to all those who are struggling with the challenges of caring for an elderly parent (of which there are many), enjoy the good days with your loved one, for ever so suddenly, and before you are really ready, they will be gone. Thank you my mother, for the love, the support, the challenges, the companionship, the wisdom and advise (sometimes wanted, sometimes not). You carried my love with you when you flew away this morning, and I will keep you in my heart until I see you again.

7 Comments

one of the major events in your life debca . youve sacrificed a lot of your own pleasures to care for your mother . its probably time to turn back to your own neglected needs . my mom died last aug 1 and im only now beginning to see it as part of my own maturing process . im trying to help an aunt thru her end of life now and when shes gone i hope to focus more on the kids around me .
Deb, thank you for sharing this very emotional and heartfelt tribute to your mother and the bonds you shared. It truly is a reminder and guidance to help us keep perspective as we journey through one of the hardest times of our lives.
Beautifully written Debca. Be glad for the many years, cherish the memories one by one. She will come to you in your dreams.
" She will come to you in your dreams "
( with more unsolicited advice )
Thank you for sharing that Deb...and so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss Deb.........and yes i believe we will meet them again! x
You finally attempt to live your OWN LIFE Before its gone. Im in the same situation. 7 years and now moms in a nursing he. I neglected my wife my kids I stopped living now I HAVE TO LEARNCAND EXCEPT I DID ALL I COULD AND NO ONE CAN TAKE MY BADGE I EARNED THAT. PEOPLE SY IM MEAN TO PUT HER IN THERE BUT NO ONE EVER STEPPED UP EVER. GODBLRSS AND LIVe LIVE

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