Statements or questions of a person approaching the end of life.

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In the last few months of her life, my 93 year old MILwith Alzheimer's, would occasionally say something about how many were "going". Her husband said something like this the day before he passed, too. I'm curious whether others have had experience with such statements/questions. She seemed very focused on this each time she brought it up.


My Mom has always been kind and grateful for everything anyone has done for her all through her life. She has been going downhill ever since we got her home from the hospital with a bout of pneumonia. Each night she always says, "thanks for everything you do for me". Yesterday was a bad day, and she said "you are so good to me", and I said, "well, Mom, remember how good you were to me when I needed help, could be cause I love you a little bit, too". Then she just smiled and went back to sleep. She had an accident with her depends and I cleaned her up and put her back to bed and she said "you are so kind to me". She has dementia so I will keep listening and watching to see if she says anything like you MIL said. Will keep you posted. Thanks!
My 92 year old MIL has very slow growing cancer in her chest and constant UTI's, which can make her disoriented sometimes until she is treated with an antibiotic (which is tricky; none work too well since she is on them so much). She is also unable to walk due to several falls and breaks. She was always very involved - to the point of being nosy! - in all of our lives. She didn't seem to think that she was going any where soon. However, in the past months she is now sleeping more, and is less concerned with what we are all up to. Not that she doesn't care; more like she feels like she doesn't have to be directing traffic for everybody all the time. She is 'moving to another plain' it seems. Not as much 'of this world', although just the other day she said to me 'everybody seems to think it's time but I am not going anywhere yet'. She has a sense of whether it is time or not, and I believe her that it just isn't time yet.
I do have a personal belief that when we go on to the life intended for us with God we are not burdened by the cares of this world. Life will be 'perfect'. My husband right now, at 62, is also slowing down his career, taking on less management responsibilities, etc. in gearing down for retirement. It seems life is like that. Some of us do run 90 miles an hour till we hit a wall/milestone in our lives, but if things happen more naturally, I think it happens in phases. I always compared being in my womb and feeling comfortable there for a time, but finally preparing for birth and the world to death being just another 'phase' of life, when telling my young children about death. They both seem congruous to me in that way. We also have no way of knowing what an unborn child knows, thinks or understands about their environment but birth is a struggle into a new life. Perhaps it is instinctive to 'feel' that this change is happening and having a sense of when it will.
We have noticed with many of our hospice patients they start talking about going on a trip or travelling, or will start having dreams about going on a trip or traveling within a few weeks or days of when they die. They may also talk about dreaming about family members who have died. Often we'll see them looking up and pointing as if they're seeing someone, even if they can't verbalize it what/whom they're seeing. Sometimes they do identify a family member who has died previously.
We've also had hospice patients who when their nurse will say "I'll see you next week." for their weekly nursing visit, the patient will say "No, I won't be here". It's amazing the amount of times they have died before the next visit!
My mother is 85 and is in a rest home. When she first got there from the hospital, all she could talk about is wanting to go NOW to heaven. She is a preacher's wife and is very stable in where she is going when she dies. That's what she would talk about all the time. She would tell everyone that would listen that she is ready and is going to be with her Jesus. One day she asked me "Why is it wrong to want to go to Heaven?". I told her that there is nothing wrong with that, but the people that are stuck here on this earth don't want you to go just yet because we are selfish and don't want to lose her just yet. When you go to her room she will say, "I'm still here". We are now making progress to bring her home. I have left my job to take care of her. She is so excited to be going home even if it is her home on earth. (She says). Hopefully all of your love ones knows there time is coming. Make sure they all know where they are going after this life. It will give them (and you, hopefully) a real peace. (Can you tell I'm a PK ? (preachers kid...hehe)
The Mighty Prince of Peace! I've recently become very close to God, and I can witness to you that our Lord is truly alive, and he truly loves us. I can't make it though this without him. I encourage everyone to seek him, ask him for help. God Bless!
Just last week when my father woke up he said this to me - I want to go away. I was astounded and did not question it but asked him where he wanted to go. The day before he told me he did not want to leave us and I fought back those tears and ended up telling him that we will all be together someday. Oh my heart is aching tonight as the time is drawing near...sorry I don't even know if I make any sense anymore. Blessings to you. And yes it sounds like what Poppa said that morning to me too. Hugs.
Thank you all for your comments. It did seem to me that my MIL, like the loved ones of some of you here, was, in the last months, preparing for another phase, transitioning to what was to come next. There were some times during that last year when she said she was afraid to die, and didn't want to, but shortly before the end, she had seemed to cross over into a place of acceptance and readiness. There was one day in particular that I sensed something different about her. Even the look in her eye seemed more focused on something in the distance, and she was no longer so agitated and bothered by her life here. I like to think that she was looking forward to something wonderful. Her passing was very quiet, comfortable and peaceful.
My dear husband passed away a month ago from dementia. Several months prior to that, he said to me, "Honey, listen to me, I know I'm dying. I know it. I'm dying." I told him "You're doing the best you can ; and I'm doing the best I can. You are wonderful." He never brought it up again, but I think he felt validated and accepted his feeling. I told him not to worry about me...I'm be all right. Hugging you all and saying prayers. It's tough; but we'll make it. Corinne

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