I doubt any attorney has seen many cases like the extreme horror show I just experienced. I need some crucial questions answered.
My younger sister ( only two of us) got POA ( not sure exactly what type since I never got a copy) for mom who had moderate dementia. I insisted ( STUPIDLY) that she get POA after mom( alcoholic with un DX"D dementia )almost killed someone in car accident. Sister used moms money to hire 5K criminal attorney to get mom out of criminal charges. Insurance paid injured plaintiff 100k for injuries. Even AFTER this, sister refused to take car keys away. I did all advertising for sister & mom to hire a nurse to stay with mom in moms house ( I worked in chronic care and hospice & understood ramifications of nursing homes) for 500/month + R&B. Sister fired RN in 2 days,against my wishes( RN was being screamed at by raging alcoholic / moderate dementia mom since mom didnt like anyone in her home),then sold home, and placed mom in 1st nursing home.1st nursing home abused patients &sister put mom in 2nd nursing home late 2019. 2020 came and facility locked down ALL residents for a year. Washington Post wrote a story about this Fairfax VA facility after one male patient starved to death ( https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/virginia-politics/fairfax-assisted-living-facility-coronavirus/2021/03/23/1474acb0-7878-11eb-8115-9ad5e9c02117_story.html).Mom lost 30 lbs, sister wasnt allowed to see mom for a year. moms diabetic feet were bloody and bruised since nobody cut her toenails for a YEAR. Sister took her out in early march 2021, mom called me and left very coherent voicemail B4 she left. Sister gave mom covid shots which immediately caused severe neurological issues and mom now didnt know ANY of us. She also lost bladder control immediately after shots ( anaphylaxis) . Sister kept all this from me but put it on FB where she didnt think I could see it. She lied to me entire time. She kept ALL medical info from me, refusing to give me mom's Drs number or any hospital info so I could speak to Drs. When sister placed mom in last facility, she told facility supervisor," Per my POA, I dont want you to tell me sister ANYTHING about mom. Shes also not allowed to take mom anywhere to lunch or off properly if she flies to visit. ( I live in the midwest, sister and mom lived in VA). I flew out to VA & got a beautiful suite 5 minutes from facility so I could see mom one last time and take her to lunch, pedicure, take a nap / tea at my king suite with kitchen. Sister waited until I was ten minutes from facility to inform my husband ( After mom was injured by shots my husband was the only one communicating with sister) Sister informed husband I would not be allowed to take mom anywhere. When I arrived, supervisor ignored my request to take mom to lunch,& informed me POA gave my sister carte blanche. I was not allowed to know if my mother was given D3 to prevent illness. I sat outside with mom for 3 days I was there, not able to eat or use their broken bathroom since I have severe IBS. Later I found out from my daughter who is close to my sister, that sister would drive to facility before lunch time & listen in on the phone earpiece while mom spoke to me, without my knowledge. Something happened early in 2022 ( more covid boosters or just more damage from the 2 covid shots?) & my mothers kidneys & heart failed. Before shots, Mom had 2-3 x a year full work ups due to dementia/ falling. She was in GOOD health. No heart /kidney or even liver issues. Mom needed heart surgery. I was NEVER TOLD by my sister, the facility or my own daughter who was afraid to tell me. My mom died jan 28, 2023. I found all this out later from other family. My sister buried my mother in an Unconsecrated grave less than 10 minutes from her ( power play) didnt give us the burial site ( we saw it in obituary). 1: what kind of torte is this against the facility & sister? 2: What kind of lawyer handles Intentional extreme emotional distress. Any other help

The information in the article is very helpful. What I'd be interested in learning is under what specific conditions a shared medical power of attorney for someone with advanced dementia can be replaced by a general durable (with financial oversight privilege) granted to just one agent from a pair of co-agents without proper notification of the change to the other co-agent. My understanding as a health care professional is that when a patient or client has been deemed incapacitated by dementia, he or she may no longer be fit to direct such a change, and that if an attorney were approached to make such a change that he or she would be legally bound to determine the patient's cognitive fitness and to inform the co-agent.
I've recently learned about such a situation involving an elderly community-dwelling resident and their children. There was a situation in which one adult child tried to block the other child's participation in the parents' health care, based on possession of a durable POA. The other child pointed out that the Medical POA was still in force because of the worsening of the parent's dementia since the drawing up of the original shared Medical POA. The co-agent (without durable POA) was referred back to the family's attorney, who advised them that the Medical POA should indeed still be in force. The co-agent, however, was distressed to learn that although there is a legal process in which to contest or rescind an unauthorized durable POA, there were no local attorneys willing to take on such a challenge.
Has anyone else heard about or lived such an experience as this? How common is it for folks in health care to have to deal with competing powers-of-attorney? I don't know whether the situation was escalated to the practice's risk management team or not; my understanding is that the staff permitted the co-agent to accompany the patient on primary care visits. As a health care professional, I still find the situation to be concerning.

Can the POA let the live in aide stay in client’s home rent free when she is no longer coming home & all the bills are still in her name? She has end stage dementia & is in a nursing home. Aide had been there for almost 6 months now

Im POA of my parent. I'm care giver and financial. They live with me. My parent wants to put on a extension on my house to live. My parent is 90 years old. My sibling wants the price that its costing for the asset of my parent . My sibling does do their part in helping out. I don't want the extension and I don't want it to be considered my inheritance. I want my parent to just build it. Live there and give nothing to my sibling. I could just put my parent in a nursing home and then no one gets anything. My parent has always been fair with us. But I do believe I deserve more. Any advice. Am I being selfish.

My older sister was made POA nearly 10 years ago ... by my mother. Last year, my mother fell seriously ill, nearly died, and went from a hospital to a nursing home ... my sister lasted as long as it took to sign papers to put her in a nursing home. She almost didn't last that long. She left. She deliberately left the will and the POA papers at my house, hidden in some items taken from Mom's house that she knew I would "run across" eventually. She deliberately did not forward my mom's address to her's ... and was content in knowing that Mom's mail and bills would continue to be delivered to a house with no one living there (Mom). In essence, she abandoned her POA responsibilities. She executed my Mom's will ... while my Mom was newly in the nursing home ... by having family members pick up the furniture items that Mom bequeathed them (just a few items). All other things are "up for grabs" and her house is unoccupied and quickly deteriorating. I had "words" with my sister on numerous occasions. She said to me, "I can't afford to do anything". And so, my husband is paying for lots and lots and lots and lots of things that my mom needs. I would say that we've spent over $15,000 and we are only at the one year mark. My mom will never leave the nursing home. She has dementia and has physical problems as well. My other siblings (who live nearby Mom) have also left us with all the responsibilities for her and the bills ... We are the ones, running around during this time period of Covid, getting everything my mom needs ... while my husband is in the high risk group and he is not even her own flesh and blood - he is the in-law. Her needs never end.
I told my husband that we should see an attorney. We've seen attorneys in the past, on rare occasion, for a few things. My husband said, "On top of everything else, we cannot afford to see an attorney".

The greed & control over our elderly is completely disgusting! These POA’s & executors are power hungry! The states need to change their laws to protect the elderly from all this abuse!

I found out the hard way........do not be a caregiver unless you have medical & financial POA!

My older & only sibling hi-jacked my mother from her life here in IL to TX when she knows my mother doesn't want to live or die there as she's told her & everyone else that too! My mother has been fed antipsychotics that carry an FDA black box warning that they not be prescribed to elders with dementia & had NO CLUE what she'd signed when my sister and daughter had her sign a new POA at the end of May right before basically kidnapping her! She's almost deaf & blind and she did not receive adequate care. I had her POA and was trying to get her back here to my home and ultimately back to hers that she owns where she wants to live out her days. Mother had me take her to the courthouse with my son & a family friend of 30 years as witnesses because 2 days prior her home health nurse had talked my youngest daughter into putting her in hospice on 12-26-18 against her will & before she was ready. Mother had just gotten out of a rehab facility (where they almost killed her by giving her Tramadol as a sedative though they'd been told she wasn't suppose to take it) & she was actually doing pretty well in spite of everything that'd been done to her! She sure wasn't a hospice case! I had hoped my sister would come to know I was telling her the truth about my mentally unstable daughter & that she'd take mother out of hospice but instead she is allowing the greedy hospice in TX to continue what they did here by stripping her of her COPD inhalers & other meds she desperately needs. Everything my sister & 2 of my 4 kids have done are in total opposition of what my poor mother wanted. I've tried for months to get help from someone and will never forgive those 3 nor myself if they are successful in getting away with this. Please, what can I do? My mother's declining health wasn't happening quick enough for these "family members" & her care was just too inconvenient for them. Not me and my other 2 kids and my 7 grands who love her very much & want her wishes honored.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5LSNtDC5KY&list=UUSJUYeEZn9LGxPRpkar3CPQ&index=4

Im needing advice. In December 2017 my mom gave me poa. I have medical & financial power of attorney. My mom has narcissistic personality disorder is 86 and is quite manipulative & after she signed it (even though she was the one who brought it up while in hospital and wholeheartedly assigned me the right to manage her affairs) she claimed she had no recall if signing any such papers, that was because she was in a rehab place after breaking her hip. She wanted no part of the rehab & wanted to go home against mine & doctors wishes. I let it drop, she went home & we've never discussed it again. Now she is in a lot if not water with her bank as she us writing tons of small checks and accumulated 1800 dollars year to date in overdraft fees. She's conning people right & left out of money portraying that she is destitute which she is not. She has enough to live on but she feeds 14 cats canned food all day long and is spending a lot if her funds on the cats. She tells me she can write checks and bank will pay them. Seems to have no understanding of what she is doing! I contacted her bank provided them the financial poa last month without disclosing to her. Bank agrees she is obviously unable to manage her checking acct. I'm wanting to close her account open another one for her with me as poa, have her social security changed to me as an authorized rep which I think will not be a problem considering the documentation we have from 4 months bank statements. I want take away her check writing ability so that I can manage her bill paying and then give her cash for her & cats lol living expenses. The financial poa is very detailed & specifies I have right to open accounts for her. I called my bank which is in arkansas & they told me she woyld have to come in to verify her identity. I explained situation & they said I should have opened the account at the time she signed poa when she was still able to know what she was doing. Im very confused as what to do. I don't think I would have a problem opening another account at her bank which is a small town bank and they know the problem & how I'm trying to help but I hesitate to do that because I fear she will go to bank & demand access. She is still clever enough and extremely manipulative even though she is sloppier with her lies than she used to be. I don't feel the bank has the right to refuse my poa, I have documents to verify her id, a valid notorized poa she has signed & less than 5 years ago. My understanding is that poa agent rights are still effective after a person can no longer handle affairs & arkansas is on the list of those states abiding by the universal guidelines. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions for me? Thank you this is extremely stressful situation

IM POA former husband. Due to arthritis he's having trouble writing checks and wants me to be able to write checks from his account. Bank won't honor the POA because his bank account in in his trust. Only way is to take the account out of the trust and have it pay on death to the trust. A big hassle

She was my POA when house sold and all the other stuff was done. And I do NOT need to be in a home at all! Hadn't seen her for last 11 yrs. when this all happened! She had no clue how I was. Think I'll be talking to the Lawyer and finding out what all I can do! Thank You!

she sold it while POA but I didn't even know she'd done it! Had put me in a home already which I didn't need to be in and still don't. Done to get me out of the way of Ex! Never saw any house money which I should have had as still functioning! Need to find Legal Aid Lawyer to do the case. Living on SSD alone which place I am in now in Michigan takes all but $77 of it a month. WOW! And to let ya know, wasn't planning on selling house as doing just fine. My Credit Score back then was 964? I was always paying bills on time! Would a Legal Aid Lawyer be able to do a case like this? Tired of living in this h_ll hole! As I said, all a set-up to get rid of Mom for Dad! Hadn't even heard nor seen daughter past 11 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I was taking complete care of myself, my dogs and cats! Didn't need POA! It was daughters idea! She just called one day, said she was coming to "visit" and the rest is history!

That is why the kind of tidy-minded people who like to get their affairs in order often draw up a 'springing' DPOA at the same time as they make their wills. It's a document that you prepare in advance, in case. Leave it 'til you actually need it, and it's too late.

One thing that seems counterintuitive ---- if a person needs to give POA to someone, isn't that saying they're not competent enough to make decisions for themselves. How is that not a clear indication of the need for a guardian?

Ex - if one can't make medical decisions for themselves, how can they be considered competent enough to "choose" someone to have POA who will keep their best interests at the forefront?

lost boy. The sibling with POA should check to see the extent of the POA and act in it. Other than that this could be reported to APS as it appears that a vulnerable adult is being taken advantage of. You could check with your local agency for aging for more ideas. A consultation with a lawyer would be a good idea for yourself and the sib with POA.

radiantrosa - you should check with the lawyer who drew up the POA. Any individual is in charge of who acts as POA for them. If you are not happy with your choice, see your lawyer and change the POA to someone else. It is the lawyer's duty to see that the person understands what they are signing.

Don't ever recall getting POA Contract to read before signing! This whole thing was "set up" from the very beginning! Found out how house was sold was Fraud! THAT I WILL BRING UP when I go back to Court and daughter or not, it was ILLEGAL! But will try to track down Lawyer in PA I did all this with as lived there then, and get a copy of it. Thanks so much!

Jewandab, you say your father can't talk; but the important question is can he understand? Is he mentally able to make decisions for himself?

My aunt is my dad power attorney and i want know what I need to do to be the power attorney. I am the oldest child and I feel like it my responsibility to take care of him. I was young when my aunt got power attorney and my dad can't talk. So is it any kind way I can get power attorney.

Here's my problem. My 80+ yr old mother, legally blind, has a trust set up to take care of her in perpetuity (good amount of money in there). She lives in her own home but has a live in companion she felt sorry for and picked up off the street (not an actual caregiver). One of my siblings has POA to manage finances, although it may be limited to the trust alone. I'm not sure. The companion has gotten involved in the finances, including opening a joint bank account w/ my mother but no access to any other family members. There is no contract with the companion but they are at least supposed to provide mom with food. Their efforts consist of buying some fast food for her, nothing more than that. The sibling w/ the POA pays all of the standard bills from the trust and my mom is receiving monthly SS payments of over $2k yet when one checks her bank acct, there's about $30 left. Hard to imagine how an 80+yr old blind woman could spend almost $2k/mo after all her bills are paid. Her companion is very manipulative and, like many elderly people, she fears being moved out of her home or being left alone. This friend plays on those fears to get mom to protect them when questions arise about missing money etc. I fear she may even be coerced into signing over POA to the companion which would be a disaster for her. The prospect of moving toward guardianship could be easily presented to her as the first move towards putting mom in a nursing home, something she does not want. So what to do?

Thanks, now I know what's up(:

radiantrosa - did she sell it while she was POA? Selling real estate is appropriate for a POA to do if it is in the senior's best interests, This also applies to placement in a facility, especially if the medical people involved recommend it.

allrise - POA ends at death or if the POA is revoked by the person who requested it. If the person acting as POA wishes to give up their responsibilities, that can be accomplished by a letter saying so i most of the USA as far as I know . Were I live in Canada it is a more complicated procedure.

was my POA, daughter, and no longer my POA, allowed to sell my house and use sale money to put me in a home I did not need to be in

My brother is in the hospital and want me to sign as his Power of Attorney. In this case, whem does it end.

Sheila if your husband is away on service you need to get the POA paperwork sorted out anyway, regardless of the goings-on with MIL and the car. Doesn't his unit have a families' liaison office or something? They should be able to advise you what to do.

I'm not sure how you could use your POA to wrest the car keys from your MIL without getting extremely heavy about it. Is there absolutely no way of mending fences with her? Where does she live?

Hello I have a question hopefully someone can help.. my husband Is in the military and has sign his power of attorney over to me but I never got the paper in proof. We were stationed in California at the time so I don’t know how to retrieve it another way. Also I was living with my mother in law and my husband had sent over the keys to our car under his name to her house. So me and her got into an argument and she kept the keys to the car. Me and my husband agreed that she (my mother in law) would go get it from California. I’m living in Texas and have our daughter but she doesn’t want to give me the keys or even give me the car for that matter and I would like to know if I can maybe use the power of attorney to get the keys back somehow? Please help :(

is there a legal document that must be signed in California to revoke an existing POA and must the agent be notified when this occurs?

No, technically speaking the POA could be anywhere and communicate the decision by any means.

But when you say "just call the doctor and say what you want"... You do have to make the decision in the person's best interests, based on all of the information to which any patient would be entitled. Which, obviously, is easier to do if you are in direct contact with the patient's medical team, and also - perhaps more importantly - able to see and talk to the patient himself.

Is this an immediate situation you're dealing with?

DOES THE POA HAVE TO BE PRESENT, OR AT LEAST IN THE SAME STATE, TO MAKE MEDICAL DECISIONS? OR DO THEY JUST CALL THE DOCTOR AND TELL THEM WHAT THEY WANT?

No edit button - I meant to say, "perhaps she planned to make gifts to the two of you etc."