Dementia is a symptom of a disorder or disease. There are many different causes of dementia. The important thing is to diagnose and differentiate it from delirium.
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There are many different types of dementia.
My mother-in-law had half of the warning signs mentioned in this article at 80, but didn't actually progress to dementia until she was 86. There's lot's of helpful educational information out there.
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Boy can I relate to all that everyone has said! January 2010 was the first "red flag" that I percieved from my mother when she didn't recognize her favorite pill "prednisone". She has COPD and on oxygen 24-7, diabetes, hypothyroid, high cholesterol and osteoporosis. She also suffers from HIGH anxiety and depression. The doctor I had at that time said it was just "age" and lack of oxygen. Her pulmonary doctor suggested a primary care doctor that specialized in Geriatrics. This doctor diagnosed her with dementia with alzhiemer components. Then in July she fell and broke her hip and 2 ribs. She didn't remember the fall, and didn't complain of pain. She even denied having pain until she tried to walk. After the fall, her mental status really went down-hill. My once tidy mom became super sloppy, didn't change clothes, didn't bath and was forgetting to eat. She lost 30 pounds from July to October. Then she ended up in the hospital twice in October. I begged for help - but no one could offer any. Everything was so expensive, but she made too much money for "assistance". Finally, in December after she had the flu and refused to go to the hospital, I had to call an ambulance and force her to go. She almost died. I spoke to the doctors about her rapid decline and they transfered her to the local psychiatric hospital (the geriatrics division) for evaluation. She spent 2 weeks there and they were WONDERFUL! They officially diagnosed her with Alzheimers and with behavior disorder.Iit was determined she couldn't live on her own any longer and my POA became effective. She is now in an assisted living facility and doing great! One thing I learned.... keep telling people(doctors) until someone listens!!
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Through family letters, I have found that my great grandmother had what we would call today as Alzheiers. My grandmother was considered strange when I was a child, I now know she was suffering with Alzheimers. My mother who died in 2004 at the age of 74 was the first in my family to be diagnosised with alzheimers by a physician. My mother lived with me the last 5 years of her life which I consider as a blessing. It was hard watching her fall deeper and deeper into this disease that can not be cured but there were also times when we could find humor and love in the things that she said and did. It is hard on the person caring for the person with alzheimers. Try to find humor in your daily life. I think back and wish I could have done more for my mother but at the time, I did the very best I could do and that is all anyone can do.
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Sometimes it is hard to get a real diagnosis, often people put their best effort to appear ok when being tested by professionals. We did have my MIL see a geriatric specialist who also referred her to a neurologist. The MRI showed signs of vascular dementia, which were backed up by incidents we reported. Eventually her scores on a cognitive test they administer went from 27/30 to 12/30, which left no question that the earlier diagnosis had been correct. If the Dr's aren't seeing what you see, find someone else. My MIL still can hold it together briefly when being questioned by healthcare professionals. She will fall apart shortly after and often sleep in the car on the way home, probably exhausted by the effort it took.
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It is very important to understand that dementia is a symptom of medical and cognitive issues. The blood cannot get to the brain cells and cognitive functioning stops. The older part of the brain keeps the heart pumping, lungs breathing.
Also, be clear about the differences between mental health issues (e.g., hoarding), as well as dementia and delirium.
In my dad's case he had both. With the delirium undiagnosed (urinary tract infection), yet it was treatable.
Take care, caregivers.
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Allie -

Thank you for your insightful comments. Once again, while I thought my situation and feelings are unique, I find it is too, too common. I just helped my 84 year old mother off the floor as she slid off the couch when getting up to go to bed. Thankfully my daughter was in the house while I was out walking the dogs. But, my daughter has to get away from the home stress - thus she's off to college in the Fall (and will live on campus even though the college is just a mile from our house).

It is heartbreaking to see the deterioration and maddening that I have no other adult to help me. I am seeing all the above signs though in their relatively early (I think) stage. The deterioration really started about 4 years ago but sped up when she broke her hip in Nov 2009.
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This breaks your heart, breaks your 'kindness', breaks your sense of self. When you help someone with dementia, year in year out, being embarrassed, dealing with 'normal' things that become huge difficulties, when you see your parent behave and deteriorate before you eyes, you feel like life is too much.
You need support, help, understanding, a break and appreciation for family and strangers alike.
When you don't get it you the guilt sets in that you wish it would 'all go away'.
Get help.
Get professionals onside and first look after yourself and do what is the safest thing for your parent and that which helps YOU to survive.
Hope I sound like I know what I am talking about, coz I do! Been there done that.
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All dementia is not Alzheimer's, just like all facial tissue is not Kleenex. As painful as it may be, take photos of the hoarding. You may need them to get the guardianship. I find it is very comon for lay people and even some professionals to assume that if a person knows their own name, recognizes people, and can converse a little, they are mentally fine. In non-Alzheimer's dementias, it is not at all uncommon to be well oriented and have excellent or at least relatively intact remote memory at a time when their judgement is very severely compromised. You need a geritrically inclined neurologist, psychologist or psychaitrist who will do at least simple paper and pencil and other objective tests to give you a mini-mental status score and a diagnosis. Also, the history of hallucinations and delusions is important. My mom went from "mild cognitive impairment" to "vascular dementia with delusions" in the past three years, and it took me a while to realize it; at first I just though she was being unreasonable about certain things.
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You're doing fine. Continue to be patient and kind. If nothing else, it will help build your own stamina and the good qualities you already have. Don't worry about what others think. I'm sure they've experienced worse especially if they are already professional caretakers. (
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I am confused about the difference between alzheimer's and dementia - the examples above seem to mention alzheimer's and dementia at all. I have always thought alzheimer's was more of a cognition problem and dementia is a deprivation of reason (at least that is what my Funk & Wagnalls says). This seems to be more the problem I am facing with my mother - she must go in for blood tests regularly - her body is not manufacturing hemoglobin as it should and she must have a couple units about every 3 weeks). When I take her to the clinic or the lab she behaves terribly and embarassingly to the point I have taken to apologizing to the techs. She acts as if she were the Empress of all the Russias and that everything is just done to inconvenience her and her alone. If the tech has trouble getting a vein, she calls them incompetent. Even at the pharmacy, when the register prints out a line of coupons, it is just an inconvenience for her. Where do you draw the line between just plain bad manners possibly attributed to the elderly, and dementia? I am going with her to see her primary care doctor Friday and would like to know what to tell him.
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We went through that w my FIL family doctor. We requested a referral to a specialty assessment program for geri's at the local hospital to 'make sure we were doing everything we could'. They diagnosed dementia and signed guardianship papers for us immediately. Hope it helps.
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You may need a conservatorship. Find a good law firm with
experienced people who have filed such petitions. Medical evals/court interviews, etc will be ordered. If this works out (and it probably will), then YOU want to be the conservators and not a private professional fiduciary (who can charge a lot of money). If you do not want to serve as conservators, you can have a court-appt'd one. In either case, having a conservatorship will mean that HER money will be used and not yours. If she exhausts her funds, then you can consider whether you want to help subsidize her costs. You don't have to, however.
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Get another Dr. or Doctors and a good attorney.
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My mother in law shows ALL of these signs...Yet the Dr we take her to does not recognize it as Alzheimers or Dementia either one....His lack of observation is causing us great financial stress.. We can not use her money to pay HER bills or Her personal needs....therefore it is all coming out of our pocket! My husband has durable POA IF she were declared incompetent.....but so far the Dr thinks she is fine..In June she had hip replacement and due to her memory, she displaced her hip 5 times and had to have actual surgery (cut open) 3x's. she now lives with us full time (not her choice) because her home became a trash pit, very unsafe, water n electric turned off numerous times..(Maggots and blowflies all over the place!)She is very fearful and paranoid..the other day she seen a woman in her room (she referred to her as a n****r). Of course it was a dillusion...Very stressful situation..
I am very confused about what it takes to prove to the Dr that she is incompetent and can no longer live on her own or make rational decisions? I am leaving a ton of stuff out here.....but hopefully you get the picture....
Please share insight and thoughts.... This is breaking us up financially as well as mentally! Makes us think that we are the ones who are crazy?
thanks, mary
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These are good points, but general enough in some cases to be a sign of depression or alcohol/drug abuse. Perhaps they can work in tandem. I have seen this happen in my young neighbor who can remember every detail from 4 yrs. old to her 40 yrs now, she's basically sharp as a tack most of the time, but does not give a darn anymore. My father was diagnosed with alcohol related dimentia-(not that bad?) and 1/2 his fortune has been squandered on a young gold digger he married less than a yr. ago. I posted this issue months back and there is nothing medically, legally anyone can do. His decisions are very poor and he is spending money like a druckin sailor. He always has a smile on his delirious face now.--so does she.
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